Who’s Judging Who?

A freind asked me to answer this question – Do you believe that GOD is a judgemental God?



I am not sure if tonight is the right time to answer that question when recent events in my life has shown me once again, it is NOT God who judges me, but those I have grown close to or people that don’t know me at all, who are judging me.

Then maybe it is the perfect time to answer it.. Because my faith in HIM grows in leaps and bounds, that I wonder sometimes, can it raise me any higher? And yes HE does, without judging me.

Yes, I am here for a reason and been saved by HIM for a reason, yet there are days I don’t understand why and maybe I am not to question it, but go through each day, coping, dealing with and cherishing each moment I am here on this earth.

You know the saying, be careful what you wish for, you might get it? I don’t wish anymore, I pray for what I need. And that is to be understood and to understand, life and all those in my life. I know we’re all products of our environment, yet how toxic we can be when we take all that is bad, all that is a burden and carry it with us into the future, expecting different results, when we are only getting the same results. The weight of judgement and being judged we carry like it is as light as a feather yet weights us down like an anvil.

To judge me or to judge others is only a form of control. Because we want to be right and we are not in doing so. All we are doing is sabotaging our own spirit into a twisted wreck, leading us out of control, which is always the end result of trying to control others.

If God was harsh at his judging, how many of us would be struck down where we stand? Yet we wish the worse on our friends, family and strangers instead of praying for them and letting God have the final judgement, the only judgement.

I don’t know where a lot of my thoughts have derived from, they are just here, for me to see and recall. One of them being that when we pass over, all the pain and judgement we held over others, we will feel every bit of it as we move onto our final resting place, beside God. So that we go to him with pure heart.

But why wait? Would it not be so much easier to take the fear of that pain of our own judgement and do what HE would want us to do? Forgive others, because judgement is only a arm of fear. Life is a lonely life when we live in judgement of others.

So to answer the question, do I believe that God is a judgemental God? Yes and that thought alone makes me want to do better always, for myself, first, then family and friends.


I’m Not A Doctor, Why Do I Need Patience?

Patience is one thing I have little of these days. And yet there are days, when I can tolerate a lot, compared to others. I feel pretty proud on the good days, but then comes along, that one person who tends to test me, maybe not on purpose, but it is like they lit the fuse, and I am going to explode any minute.
I have learnt since I’ve began growing spiritually, that prayer gets me through a lot and it does answer my wants and needs, with that said, I’ve learnt not to pray for certain things, patience being one of them, because surely I will get a many opportunities to practice it and I don’t think the person across from me will have a fighting chance once I begin my quest with regards..lol.

People that have overcome some kind of trauma in their lives, can develop these short comings, such as little patience. And if we catch it early enough, we can learn how to either avoid situations that light that fuse of learn how to cope with situations after we are caught up in them/

I read a statement in a forum I visited, that I want to share with you… by JuneBug

……perhaps part of it involves “expectation”; when our expectations are thrown off, it’s tempting to lose our patience, and temper (and “sanity”, lol).

And to remember H.A.L.T: If you know that you are at least 2 of “Hungry, angry, lonely or tired”, chances are that it’s going to be hard to not have a breakdown in patience, temper, or management of your emotions and reactions, not to mention cognitive reasoning and strength.

So learn how to breath and turn the other cheek. Maybe in the past we weren’t able to pick our battles but now we do have the option of how long we will suffer.

Amazing how just writing this short note has lightened a load on my shoulders about just that.. Patience.

My Right Arm

My faith is a part of me, an appendage of my being, is the only way I can describe it. In 2006, I was at a very dark place and without going into details, anyone who has been in the depths of despair knows how suffocating, soul and spirit draining that can be. I made a promise to my Higher Power at that time when I reached out to HIM.. If HE would help me through that dark time and any pain, suffering of the mind, body and spirit from the day forward, I promise to be a positive force in the world around me. To uplift and inspire, even when I am not understood or ridiculed, I will have faith and a belief, that I can make a difference, in at least one persons life daily for the rest of my days on this earth. For the longest time, 80% of the stuff I write or say was a mystery to me as much as it was and is to most people today. However I have come to the conclusion, where as my faith is now an arm of my spiritual being, I am an arm of our Higher Power/God.
I do and say what HE tells me, naturally
He saved my soul in 2006 and for that, I am forever indebted.


I Used To Be An Atheist Until I Realized I Was God


imagesCAW204HCI used to be an atheist until I realized I was god.

– J. Krishnamurti

Jiddu Krishnamurti (May 1895 – February 17, 1986) was an Indian speaker and writer on philosophical and spiritual subjects. I came across him years ago when he and David Bohm  (December 20, 1917 – October 27, 1992), a famous theoretical physicist, held a series of conversations where they talked about consciousness and humanity.  Fascinating stuff.  If you are interested, you can view a YouTube video of one of their conversations here.

Krishnamurti taught the importance of self knowledge.  He was opposed to gurus, religious teaching or any sort of societal conditioning.  He said:  “Leaders destroy followers and followers destroy leaders.  You have to be your own teacher and your own disciple.”  Self-knowledge is an endless journey of discovery and totally unique to each being.  I can’t teach you your path anymore than you can…

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I Learnt About Detachment From A Dating Site


I have been told a few times in the past few years, I am not envied when it comes to dating at my age.. Because of the majority of egotistical a-holes I have been approached by. And I do and always will give kudos to the men who are to say the least gentlemen from the start, they are few and far between.

Over time I have learnt to say, No, without hesitation when I sense a man is lying or is being disrespectful and there are those men who you are not sure about, and you want to investigate the possibility of, just maybe he is the one. You want to give the benefit of the doubt, even after listening to Dr. Phil say over and over.. Do not give the benefit of doubt to any man!

Maybe I am still naïve, after being with one man for 30 years, since I was 14 yrs old and never really dated? I have dealt with all that past relationship stuff, where I do wish him the best and any man after him, will not be judged by that 30 year relationship but on their own merit. But there is so much ego out there and it is frustrating. Does the concept of honesty and respect not exist?!

Good God! How I am trying to stay classy! But there is this side of me that just wants to tear someone’s tongue out of their mouth and then slap them on the back of the face!

Long story short example…

Guy dates girlfriend.. Approx. 7 yrs ago
Guy and girlfriend break up
Guy askes yours truly to date
Yours truly says NO
Guy says, ‘lets have some fun, we both adults”
Yours truly says, NO!
-Quiet time-
Guy re-appears, askes yours truly again for one night stand
Yours truly says, NO!
Guys ego hurt says, “People like you that give women in your town a bad name!”
Yours truly about ready to pull tongue out of his mouth
But she calms down.
Guys says another note, “You tell lies..get off this site!” (thinking he read my profile About Me section)
Now yours truly is ready to slap him in the back of the face.. but settles to block him.

It is guys like him who have no respect for women that make it hard for any woman, let alone one over 40 to want to even date or make an effort to leave the quiet simple life of being single. One would think by the time a man or woman is 40 years old, they can take NO for an answer and leave the relationship with dignity and not be a psychopath! By stalking, harassing or insulting the person who does not want to engage any contact, let alone any intimacy with them.

I am not perfect and am not looking for the perfect man, but shouldn’t all men and women treat others with some level of respect?

I am now feeling a sense of detachment with regards to the big world of dating or finding a man who is right for me. Once again, I will leave it in God’s hands and let him ring the neck, pull out the tongues and smack them up behind the face, these guys who just don’t know the definition of what a MAN is.

Exploring about.me

This is a great FREE service.. I have used it before and will again..

The about.me Blog

One of the most fun and interesting things about our site is that you never know who you’re going to find. While we’re all about creating beautiful pages to showcase who you are, about.me was also created for discovering others and making connections with them. Not sure how to start making connections? Try searching for places (ones you’ve lived in and others you’d like to visit) and interests. My discovery of Nav Singh‘s page (in our header photo) came through my interest in wine.

Follow your whims as you continue searching. Click on other people’s interests and don’t be afraid to add and remove different search terms. That’s how I found Jeremy Blum‘s page which immediately stood out because of his photo.

Jeremy Blum

Once you find someone interesting, don’t forget to check out their collections at the bottom of the page. There’s a good chance that the people in their collections will have…

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A Divorced Man Now Single Thoughts


I asked a male friend who is divorced and over 40, his thoughts on that and he answered…

MOST guys don’t want a relationship anymore…once bitten, twice shy kinda thing. The mean-spirited, vindictive, and/or opportunistic seeds that were sown back when we were younger are now yielding a bumper crop of single, sad, and lonely older people…mostly women, it seems. Mind you…not ALL women are in that mode, but MANY are. And guys are now reverting back to when they were young
and single again…hang with the buds, laugh and have fun, no worries about hurt feelings or forgetting special days, and NO CHANCE of losing what they’ve worked hard to rebuild after losing most everything to the first bad relationship. I’m not trying to sound preachy,
just stating what I’ve heard and experienced myself. I call it the FEAR FACTOR. It’s sad, but it’s the truth for many guys.