Out With The Old! Embrace the New!

When you work in a field such as addictions, you see the great transformation taking place when a person admits to a change for the better. It’s a struggle till the end, but worth it. Then when I met up with a person from my past and see how they are still carrying so much baggage till the present day, the anger, the defence and un-apologetic mannerisms, it reminds me how grateful I am for what it took to be where I am today

And that was with the help of many great people, because we don’t have to do it alone, there is always someone reaching out to help in any way they can.

I will say my journey began 7 years ago, when I started working at the addictions center. The staff, the clients and the program itself was all a great part of that turning point for me.

Not everyone can go and work at such a place, to begin a journey of inner peace, but we can find help in books, talking to elders, listening to elders and believing that there is someone who went through struggles like we are going through at this moment.

I hope that person eventually seeks out the help needed because life is precious and short. As is all the relationships we have with friends and family.

Joan Baez is quoted ~ You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die, or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now!

Respecting Yourself & Moving On

Respecting Yourself & Moving On

An article from, Abuse No More, that I wanted to share.
Abuse No More
A survivor faces their challenges and becomes empowered by those same challenges. A survivor says to their self, “OK, I can’t change this relationship or the abuser, but I can change my life and stop contributing to this situation.” A survivor makes a commitment to rid themselves and their life of the perpetrator (abuser). Whereas a victim continues to feel helpless and accept blame, a survivor gathers together their courage and demonstrates their strength in spite of their fears.

A survivor stops listening to the verbal and emotional abuse that tears down their self-esteem – and says “No, that’s not true. I am capable. I may be afraid, I may feel defeated and hopeless, but I can change this situation by putting it behind. I will face that challenge and I will not give up! I am not helping myself or the abuser by remaining in this sick relationship.” And that point in their life is a significant turning point for the victim who becomes a survivor.

Perhaps that phrase, “turning point”, says it all. A survivor has reached the turning point that a victim still cannot see. Reaching that turning point and making the commitment to change their life marks the place in time where one becomes a survivor and refuses to be a victim any longer. That doesn’t mean it’s easy; that doesn’t mean a survivor wakes up one day and suddenly everything is “a piece of cake” and perfectly clear. We still need support; we still have to heal many emotional traumas from a myriad of abuses. We still have to sort out a lot of confusion in our own minds. But that turning point means we see our own mental captivity as a victim and refuse to tolerate it any longer. A survivor breaks free of abuse.

Nice Jacket!!!

I picked up a book some time ago at a used book store. On occasion I leaf through it and I really like what it has to say. Today I come upon it again and I know there was a reason. But the part that got my attention was the jacket. The back of the jacket, I found it very interesting and here is what it says..


Odds are, you did this morning, somehwere between the first step on the floor and the last step out the door, you grabbed some luggage. You stepped over to the luggage carousel and loaded up, The carousel is not the one in the airport, its the one in the mind. And the bags we grab are not made of leather, they’re made of burdens. The suitcase of guilt. The trunk of discontent. A backpack of anxiety and a hanging bag of grief. Add on a briefcase of perfectionism, an overnight bag of loneliness and a duffel bag of fear. No wonder we are so tired at the end of the day.

Where do we turn for help? How about looking to an old friend, the twenty-third psalm. ********************************************

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’ sake.


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.


Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.



The above is from the book jacket Travelling Light by Max Lucado

I Almost Lost My Mind!

Being a people watcher, I am tend to be looking around myself a lot, meaning I don’t make myself the center of attention. Because I am not the center of the world. The world is a big place and I find it is easier to get out of my own head and look, imagine, sometimes even walk in the shoes of others.

There are days I begin to give in to my own feelings and if those are bad feelings, I start to feel worse and worse, so I rather think good thoughts and have good thoughts get better.

Some people might say in that case I have my head in the sand but I don’t think so, I just don’t think I can change things that bring me down, but I can change how I feel and I rather feel powerful. Not pitiful!
If some one is depressed, they tend to think more and more of depressing things. Yes life can be difficult and at times lonely, but it will be only as depressing, as difficult and lonely as we allow it. Instead of thinking how low we can go, why not think how high we can go.

It does not matter what life throws at us, it depends if we want to catch it and or toss it back. If it don’t feel right, leave it where it is. We have to hope and believe things will get better but most of all we need to have faith.

There are days we may fall back to thinking depressing thoughts and instead of dealing with them in a positive way, such as looking at the great things and people in our lives, we at times turn to things like, drugs and alcohol to numb the bad and that it is all it does, numb life, once the high from substance ends, life is looking back in our face. So we have to make a choice, be a positive power in your own life and those around you, don’t give your power away.

Live in the moment, this exact moment because this moment is all we have.. It can only strengthen your resolve that what we think we are and what we are deserving of is in our reach, has been in our reach from the day we were born. Life is as good as we make it.

Rama Dass & Spiritual/Healing Teachings

ram dass

A month ago I watched videos of a workshop held by Rama Dass.

Who is Rama Dass you ask?

He was born Richard Alpert in April of 1931, a spiritual teacher and author, committed to helping others through charitable organizations as well as continuing to help those via his websites. I really enjoyed this workshop and he taught me things I did not consider before watching.

When ever I come across anything or anyone to do with the human spirit, I am intrigued. One of those things I have been hearing about a lot over the past year is Reiki.

What is Reiki you ask?

Reiki is an alternative therapy originated in Japan, which is a kind of touch therapy. The followers and practitioners of Reiki believe that by this touch therapy they can transmit positive energy from one person to another, and the proper flow of this life force energy acts as a healing factor.

There is so many out there who offer services, either free or for a fee, help with the spiritual self. And I am sure there is those that see the all mighty dollar only, but that does not mean there is not a few who practice their gift and still ask for a nominal fee. Like anything else I think we have to do some research when it comes to someone saying they can do something for you and ask for money to perform that service, just like a plumber or carpenter, there are some better than others and some who have no clue what they’re doing. So at the end of the day, it is up to us as individuals to look into the one giving the service we are requiring.

Following a spiritual path is a life long process, there is no end to this road, as we follow it we gain an inner peace and faith. However the greatest thing, I think, about my being on this spiritual path is, practicing what I preach. Surely there are days, I trip on my spiritual path, but I do get back up, brush myself off and see it as a learning process. To learn from it and move forward, not to dwell on it.

I wanted to look into Reiki, so I did some reading.

A Reiki teacher is a Reiki Master/Practitioner who chooses the path to teach and share Reiki healing knowledge with others

In order to pass the Reiki atonements to others, a person must first be attuned to their own health and energy level should be strong, balanced and wholesome

Before becoming a Reiki Master Teacher, they must first consider the additional responsibilities that should be acknowledged and accepted – do they consider them selves organized, committed and confident

And the greatest one of all, I think is, Their Personal Responsibility

Do they set an example and practice what they preach (walk their talk) – incorporate the Reiki principals into their daily life as a “chosen” way of living.

Overall, it all boils down to a Reiki practioner trusting their intuition. The person should be a living example of the things they practice. Watching their personal expectations – most integrated teachers are not dressed in white robes and act in a ‘holier than thou’ fashion. A good Reiki teacher is usually down to earth, realistic and normal in appearance. They said to be wary of sensational and over-the-top characters. The teacher is NOT above the student or the person they are treating.

I guess it boils down to being aware of those who speak from both sides of their mouths.

Sue Welch-Veilleux is quoted , Spiritual Journey – 

“This is the pathless path – returning to where you were initially before you got lost. The deepest truth in you is where the journey leads – shedding, like taking off layers of an onion, until you come to your essence. The key to the spiritual journey is not acquiring something outside of yourself. Rather it is shedding the veils to come back to the deepest truth of your being.”

I wish the best to all those who seek inner peace and those who are there for those asking for advice on how to do that. We are all teachers and students on this earth, some days more one than the other, which is why we need to practice what we preach.

“I help people as a way to work on myself, and I work on myself to help people … to me, that’s what the emerging game is all about.” – Ram Dass

Rumor Has It He’s A Player

Rumor Has It He's A Player

To Play Or Not To Play?

I think we all have a friend, a single friend, who wants just to be loved by another, some one that will be honest and respectful of them. Sometimes that friend is ourselves. That need can be so strong at times, it is like a beacon to those who like to play, with hearts. If it is a friend, being on the outside of the box looking in, you see how the new person in your friends life is playing them but your friend won’t hear that, does not want to hear that and makes up excuses for the player, only extending what eventually will be a recovery of the broken heart.
Here is a 6 signs of a good player according to, Isabella Snow on Hub Pages.. She uses, “he”, but I think players can and are, male or female.

1. He expressly denies being one.

In my experience, the men who come straight out (unprovoked) and proclaim that they aren’t players, tend to be precisely that. He will announce this the first time he screws up, or senses that you’re leery about him. And he’s operating on reflex. You see, he’s so used to being accused of being one, that he instinctively plays offense from the start, in the hope you might be gullible enough to believe what you hear, rather than what you see.

2. He’s too smooth.

Does he have an answer for everything? A really good answer for everything? I’m not surprised. as it comes from years of practice. He’s made all the big mistakes and has plenty of experience with smoothing things over. He knows what you want to hear, because he’s learned well from his previous enablers. Don’t add yourself to the list.

3. He’s always slightly aloof.

He pays just enough attention to make you crave more, but little enough to make you wonder how interested he really is. This ploy is designed to make you want more — which is what most of you end up doing — and some of you will go out of your way to get his attention via methods you wouldn’t normally lower yourself to. That’s exactly what he wants; you crawling on your knees for his attention.

4. He’s fantastic in bed.

These guys are so good in bed that many women will overlook the crap he pulls, just to get the chance to play house with him. Not every man who is good in bed is a player, obviously, but if he is, and if he’s also got any of the previous traits, he’s probably a player. Unfortunately, this trait is desirable enough that many women are willing to overlook the other traits, if only for a period of time.

5. His communication skills suck.

Unless there’s a very good reason, if a man doesn’t answer your text/email/phone call within 24 hours, he’s playing a game. And the men who deny the truth of that statement by claiming that some men are just too busy…? They’re full of shite. If you really like someone, you can find a minute to at least text them. No one is that busy! If your man does this on a regular basis, he’s playing games.

6. He makes you feel like you’re overreacting when you’re not.

Let me give you an example: He promises to call you at 8pm, but doesn’t contact you until the next day. Why? Because he decided that pizza with his mates would be more fun. When asked why he couldn’t be bothered to let you know, to send you a text at least, he replies by making you feel like you’re being clingy or too demanding. This guy is a tosser!

Went To The River And Found Spirit


(This blog I dedicate to the Memory of my brother, Joey, who while on earth was a messenger of Love as God asked of him)

Once upon a time, a spiritualist, came to town to motivate people, by giving them the tools necessary to achieve a joyful life and how to appreciate each day they are given on this earth.

However the church did not like the idea of this spiritualist coming into town and corrupting the population. Corrupting?

Leo Pfeffer is quoted, “”…if you believe in it, it is a religion or perhaps ‘the’ religion;
and if you do not care one way or another about it, it is a sect; but if you fear and hate it, it is a cult.”

So, according to you, which is the cult?

Myself, I don’t fear a person or a group that empowers and motivates people to live successful, happy and enthusiastic lives. I do fear a religion that says..

Deuteronomy 18:10-13
New International Version (NIV)
10 Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. 12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you. 13 You must be blameless before the Lord your God.

Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. (Ephesians 5: 22-23)

I do a lot of reading about different subjects because I like to write and I also talk to people about a lot of subjects for the same reason, just take out the titles Master and Slave and you have, another group that believes the same, that the man aka husband is the head of the wife..

Masters and Slaves in the world of Dominance and Submission where, a slave’s primary purpose in life is to serve the needs and desires of the Master. The slave relinquishes all control to the Master, because the slave knows the Master has her well-being totally at heart.

A spiritualist beliefs are about personal well being, both physical and psychological, which is a very important part of modern spirituality. A person develops inner peace and happiness. Spirituality has played a central role in self-help movements such as Alcoholics Anonymous also. Having worked in that field, I have seen what being spiritual guidance can do for a person and it does not tear down a persons self worth like a cult of certain, “religions”, can do.

As far as I am concerned, there is ONE God, which we all pray to, it is just we, as humans, who pray differently, depending on what church you attend or don’t attend. And I don’t think one can judge another because they don’t pray a like or believe alike.

Why do certain religions try to scare people into believing that they will be punished for any act that is labelled a sin according to man? In the beginning, the native praised and tended to the world, the water, the animals, praised it all and were thankful for what was before them. Then.. well you know what happened next….

I found a quote by, Annie Dillard.

Eskimo: “If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?”
Priest: “No, not if you did not know.”
Eskimo: “Then why did you tell me?””

We were not broke, so what was there to fix?? And now we have people who are following the Spiritual path and helping others to tend to the Spirit, only to be condemned once again by certain religions.

I know there is an entity greater than myself out there and HE has nothing to do with who is master, who is slave, who is husband or who is wife. HE loves me no matter what my role or title is on this earth.

And I do not believe God detests anyone!!.. I do not fear God, I welcome him, love him and there is no relation among the 2 words, FEAR and LOVE.

I will not judge anyone and their beliefs and I don’t expect anyone forcing their beliefs onto me or judge me for what I believe in.

For some reason, the moral of this story is leading me to feel, “FOOTLOOSE” and fancy free.

My Depression ~ My Faith


We are not always lucky to lead grounded lives. I don’t know what the percentages are but I think the odds of all of us going thru trying times in our lives is pretty high. And if you talk to most people who have overcome the hardships, most have said it was when they started to have Faith.

Faith in something greater than themselves. No one has to walk the rough roads alone, but we will walk it and when we get to the crossroads, some do take the one that has to do with FAITH or the other, which some never return, SUICIDE and then there is the one of DENIAL, where a person says they are okay, but their actions say so much more and the last one is where a person chooses to keep wondering down the road of SELF DESTRUCTION, with drugs and alcohol.


I can and will be honest to say I started down the one of Suicide, several years ago and no one knew I was on that path, because I did not involve anyone. There was several times I would be driving down the Transcanada Hwy., to meet a transport and want to veer out in front of it, but something or someone held me solid to keep that car travelling straight, thru my tear filled eyes. Then the nights of crying and praying for weeks at a time, those tears and prays began to be answered, through friends and certain family members, one person in particular, my Mother. I won’t say what our conversations were, but she was my saving grace because her love was unconditional for me. I also went for professional counselling and was put temporarily, 4 months, on anti-depressants.


Today, my life is different, my attitude is different because of my Faith, because my Higher Power, God, led me down the right path. To thank HIM, I have promised not to let a day go by where I will do my best to inspire at least one person, to let them know, everything will be okay, if we just have Faith and know that inner peace eventually will overwhelm your being and before long you don’t worry about what the day will bring, you accept each day for what it truly is.. A blessing!

Dear Lord, you are our refuge in good and in bad times. In your infinite mercy, bring peace and comfort to those of us who face days sometimes filled with pain and depression. Help us to realize that through you there is joy and the promise of lasting peace. Help us through the rough times. Walk before and beside us so that we may walk in your footsteps and reach out to you in our journey on this earth. Help us to focus on our blessings rather than our misfortunes, dear Lord. Thank you for hearing and answering our prayers. Amen

Sometimes It Hurts To Stay


For as many reasons a relationship begins, there are just as many reasons they end. People come and go in our lives every day. However, no one goes into a marriage thinking that it will end 9 months, 9 years or 25 years down the road. People change, things develop and if both are not able to cope with change or an issue that develops, more than likely there will be a separation and or divorce.

I don’t believe it makes one person bad and the other good, no matter who left or who was left. If there is one thing I have noticed when any separation that has turned into a all out fight to the finish, it is because some one is not owning up to the fact and the roll they played in the relationship.

Yes, there are those who take it to extremes when it comes to dividing up the goods accumulated during the union or the extreme mental abuse at times when one was truly insulted or hurt by their spouse. For as much positive and heart we put into the relationship in the beginning, why do we drag it through the mud at the end of it?

We did love that person to a degree at one point in time, no matter the level and it deserves respect because when we sabotage it at every turn during a separation or divorce, we are not giving ourselves as a person the respect we deserve also.

And no one can tell me that if a person leaves any relationship with a huge chip on their shoulder that they will be able to enjoy a new love like they would if that chip was not there. We end up bringing all that baggage into a new one and that is so unfair to the next person, but also unfair to ourselves because we just may be robbing ourselves of a new mate that may have been our Prince Charming or Angel.

I went to counselling before my separation and continued with it afterwards also. You don’t commit to something for a length of time and leave it without some issues.

And as for the people around us, those that respected you both as a couple should also respect you as individuals.

No matter if you are the one that left or the one who was left, find a support system, whether it be family, friends or strangers in group therapy. It’s okay to admit we hurt, everybody hurts.

The worse life is one lived in such a pitiful way where a person feels they do so much more than others & act like others just sit there & feed off all their good deeds. It sure is the road of loneliness if nothing else. The sooner we realize the world owes us nothing, the quicker we pass go and reap the rewards life has to offer.

.. Sometimes it hurts to stay….

His Grace Won’t Let Me Give Up


Over the past couple years I have been really listening to my body when it reacts to what ever I put into it. Having 2 heart attacks and ankylosing spondylitis and sugar diabetes, one has to really be careful what you digest.

I have been keeping my diabetes under control with watching my sugar raising intake foods. And with regards to my heart, I quit smoking and walking often for my cardio fit regiment. As for my ankylosing spondylitis, there is so many different things that can cause a flare up and one of those is sugar, as well as weather.

All these bad things cause interior inflammation, something not anyone can see with regards to my AS and heart, but something I feel. Some days worse than others. I also am under a watch with regards to my medications because a few of those are having a negative effect on me, such as my hiatus hernia acting up and now acid reflux disease.

Yes, there are days I wish I could just stay in bed under the covers, cry like a baby and curse everything and anything and everyone, but what would that do for me? Nothing, because that is stress and stress is another thing that can cause physical ailments, such as inflammation.

God Lord, it is not easy trying to keep everything under control all the time, but I do and will try my best, always. I do pray, to God, to my Mother, my Father and Brother And they do answer me because those days my pain is eased so I can rest with ease.

For myself the first thing I find that helps me on my worst days, is laughter with great company, a walk about on a cool day and my writing. To go somewhere else in my mind and not focus on my pain and ailments is a must and maybe sometimes a day of rest and relaxation.

Don’t take your days for granted. I did not see the coming of my AS, the vicious beast! I hope and pray some day I am able to tame it into remission.. Oh heaven!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.