Trying harder on some days than others to be even a little light in some one else’s day gets exhausting, especially when so many are blind to the sparks of life. I made a vow years ago, to be that person, yet not make it my job to carry other people’s problems on my shoulders or even think I can fix them, because I can’t. It can be a very lonely world at times for people like me. And that statement alone will make others wonder what the hell does she mean, people like her? Well if you don’t know me by now, maybe you really are not suppose to know me at all? Even in my loneliness I find serenity. It is at those times we I recuperated and listen to the thoughts of the Creator to rejuvenate my soul, my spiritual self. There is so much I want to practice, yet time is short, days and years are quickly creeping by and I don’t really notice just how fast until it is my birthday again and again. Nothing and no one lasts forever on this planet, some things and people gone too early, or is the timing perfect with regards? With those thoughts, I learn not to take things for granted and live in the moment. My mind goes blank when people ask me about any future plans, again because I believe all we have is the here and now.
So I will take my lonely days to build back up my loss of faith, as days of grace. I will just listen to the sounds of Mother Earth, look for signs from the Creator and begin a new day once my heart is full once again, with a bounty to share.
Everything in it’s time and timing is everything. Remember, even feeling lonely is something to learn from, give it time.
Standing in the check out line, scanning the magazines on the rack as I inch my way to the next available cashier, it seems every 2nd magazine front has that one intriguing snag line..”100 Ways to….”
…and so on…
Surely there is a list that pertains to each us at some point in our lives, our week or our day? That will make us snatch that $4.99 book of advertisement, pay for and hide in our purse or jacket, so our significant other, our child or visitors to our home don’t get a hold of it, see that line and think, “Oh, she/he is having trouble in that area huh.”
But you know what, that actually is probably not true 99% of the time when they find your magazine, they are not thinking of your shortcoming, your lack of knowledge in a certain area at all. They are looking for that 100 list that points out their own shortcomings/downfalls or lack of knowledge of……….
“Read a lot, research. Trust yourself: you’re not going crazy, what you see/feel/sense is real. Be your own teacher: your soul will always guide you. Trust in the Universe, you’re here for a reason.” A.G
Accepting What We Cannot Change: Is more than just line in the Serenity Prayer.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.“
For myself, it was learning about DETACHMENT.
I had to take a 2nd glance one day at a person I use to know, in the mall, because that person was not recognizable to me for those few moments. Then when I realized who it was, I felt the oddest feeling. I asked my counsellor what happened..apparently , I had detached from that person, in mind, body and spirit..finally! Now I can avoid without guilt, one way or another. Here is what I learnt and what I felt…
Detachment is like a deep breath of peace and forgiveness at the same time, which totally makes sense to me now. It is the ability of talking about with ease, that which at some point brought me pain of heart and tears. It is learning to forgive myself for the roll I played in my own dysfunction at one point in my life and gaining the strength I need to move forward, to start afresh! What a great release it was! Freeing myself to lead my life as I wanted..with grace!
Continue reading “New Year Detachment”
Running to find the biggest field with the longest swaying in the breeze grasses..laying down with arms stretched out and looking up to watch the clouds slowly drift by and think..imagine..smile and or cry……