Don’t Worry About Me

Trying harder on some days than others to be even a little light in some one else’s day gets exhausting, especially when so many are blind to the sparks of life. I made a vow years ago, to be that person, yet not make it my job to carry other people’s problems on my shoulders or even think I can fix them, because I can’t. It can be a very lonely world at times for people like me. And that statement alone will make others wonder what the hell does she mean, people like her? Well if you don’t know me by now, maybe you really are not suppose to know me at all? Even in my loneliness I find serenity. It is at those times we I recuperated and listen to the thoughts of the Creator to rejuvenate my soul, my spiritual self. There is so much I want to practice, yet time is short, days and years are quickly creeping by and I don’t really notice just how fast until it is my birthday again and again. Nothing and no one lasts forever on this planet, some things and people gone too early, or is the timing perfect with regards? With those thoughts, I learn not to take things for granted and live in the moment. My mind goes blank when people ask me about any future plans, again because I believe all we have is the here and now.

So I will take my lonely days to build back up my loss of faith, as days of grace. I will just listen to the sounds of Mother Earth, look for signs from the Creator and begin a new day once my heart is full once again, with a bounty to share.

Everything in it’s time and timing is everything. Remember, even feeling lonely is something to learn from, give it time.

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My Twins Within

“My wisdom for the day, after 1 cup of coffee, is to simply define what I call, the twins, Dharma & Karma. Dharma is that child that can live within me for life. Karma is that child that can leave home, but guaranteed being, the prodigal child.. will always come back home. It’s never too late to practice some self loving, mindful Dharma, then good ole Karma will naturally come back to me, through others, in a good way.” – Snowy

All Pictures No Words

 

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I am amazed at the creative eye of photographers, amateurs and professionals. Like a writer has a way with words, a photographer has a way with vision.

I have family and friends who are the amateurs and the pros when it comes to the art of vision and they all fascinate me, always, no matter what they are looking at.

Below is a link to just a few photos taken by a friend.. use your eyes to see, then use your words to leave comment. 🙂

Mike Garratty’s Photo Albums

If You Knew You Were Dying

I heard today about someone who has just been told they have terminal cancer and a month to live. I don’t think we all understand just how precious life on earth is. How has a teen and young adult, we all have put ourselves in harms way, so many times and come out of it okay. How as we get older we begin to settle, get complacent, taking loved ones for granted, assuming the world will be the same tomorrow as it was today. Then in a split second, things change & we begin to question, why? or wish we had reached out just one more time to that person who has passed on or praised that child at the supper table for passing the grade instead of having our eyes on the television. How we should of made a phone call to Mom or Dad when we thought of it and not waited. Life is so short and I so appreciate any time I am given and try to live the best way I can.

What would you say to someone if you knew they would not be here tomorrow? What you waiting for?? Tell them now.

One Day At A Time

kindness_5

That simple sentence says so much to so many, those recovering. And to be completely honest I think every one would benefit from experiencing the meaning behind all it is, the 12 step program. It is a great teaching program, we all go through some hard times in our lives and find it hard to cope on a day to day basis. The 12 step shows you how to face the demons, one day at a time. No one is perfect, we all reach out at some point.
Having worked in the addictions field, I found it to be the most rewarding job ever. To see someone at their lowest, climb to the point of being able to cope and learning to live one day at a time. I read the Big Book and want to read it again. I watched all the videos and experienced the program daily.

Today I wondered through a 2nd hand store and seen shelves of books. I love books! I especially love the old non-fiction reads, they show just how much the times have changed. My eyes fell upon a title, Lois Remembers. It is the memoirs of the co-founder of Al-Anon and wife of the co-founder of Alcoholic Anonymos Bill W.
This book I have not read! And I am so looking forward to reading it. I will start this evening and will give my thoughts when done.

If you have read it, what is your thoughts?

lois

~Lois Remembers Memoirs of the Co-founder of Al-Anon & wife of the Co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. Lois W. is the co-founder of the Al-Anon Family Groups & the widow of Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. Here she recalls her childhood and life in Brooklyn as the protected daughter of a leading doctor, and her romantic marriage to Bill during World War I. She also tells how AA and Al-Anon started and how they have brought hope to more than a million alcoholics and those who love them. She recalls idyllic summer days in beautiful rural Vermont and long hiking and motorcycling trips with Bill. Later came darker times when she and Bill tried vainly to conquer his illness of Alcoholism. Then Bill’s spiritual awakening led to his meeting with Dr. Bob S. in Akron, Ohio, and the formation of Alcoholics Anonymous. Lois tells how the 12 Steps and the 12 Traditions grew out of the early experiences of AA members and groups, and were later adopted by Al-Anon. Her steadfast support and love for Bill were important throughout their marriage, but she found she needed her own program of recovery. Out of this need and that of other spouses and children of alcoholics grew Al-Anon for alcoholics’ families and friends, and Alateen for their children.~

Appreciating Who I Am & Who You Are

Spirit_Paths_by_Cynnalia
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Its not always easy to understand another persons heritage or culture, why they do the
things they do with regards. I believe ignorance plays a big part when anyone comes to their
own conclusion thinking they know another persons culture, coming across as very critical.

We all come from somewhere, someone and no one should be discounted in any way.
There is a new wave it seems with regards to the native culture and non-natives. The non-natives
are wanting to experience the native culture, which is a great thing, but what part are
they wanting to experience? I think to some degree they are not sure themselves, but sense
something great about the native man/woman/child. The beauty of the native person is their
spirituality, this is what I think is the magnet to non natives.

This is all my personal thoughts with regards and don’t speak for any other native or non-native.
Being on the internet there is no shortage of definitions with regards to spirituality,
native or not and just like you can’t believe everything you are told, we should not believe
everything we read either. I guess one could say you’re on a vision quest, you need a
change in your life and or you’re wondering what you should do with the rest of your life
which can be so confusing most of the time. The road is never a straight and narrow one,
things are always changing, most of the time it is an uphill battle and we ask the question
why?

I do believe any vision quest does not end till we are well into our adult hood, having
experienced so much of life, and live to tell about it. There are times when we meet up with
someone that we do not consider to be an elder yet they seem so wise and that is usually
because they have been through a lot in their young lives, sorted it out, learnt the lesson and
is able to relay the answers to some questions more easily than others. We are all born with
the ability to create meaning for our own lives and it does not happen over night, it is a
process of growth, first physically, then spiritually through coming of age.. so the vision quest
was and still is in the defining moment in a persons life when they come to terms with all that
has happened, can honestly say, without regret, and have a peace of mind spiritually.

I do believe in a Higher Power, something greater than myself and I also believe that any hill
I climb in my life is so I can relate to another who has climbed the same hill, so I can have a
greater sense of empathy, maybe I am wrong and this is just my way of not going crazy
when things don’t go smoothly. I told a friend not long ago, now when I am in pain, I begin to pray, at times in tears, I don’t ask ‘why me?’, anymore in prayer, I ask for healing.

That is a part of my spirituality, a part of who I am, because I know that
there is someone out there in greater pain than I and I don’t have to watch television to see it
or hear about it on the radio, there are people in some sort of pain around all of us daily. We
can not fix the whole world but we can help a friend, a family member or a neighbor, making
changes in our own world and in doing so, others do the same and on and on.

I am so proud of my native heritage and even more so, I am proud to be ME, native or
not..

Residential School Survivor

My father was and is ojibway, born in 1935 and passed over in 2006. He was put in a residential school at northern ontario when young. He was a strong man and at times I think he was stronger than he realized or gave himself credit for. Life for Dad was not easy which made life with Dad not so easy. However, later in my life, I forgave him and loved him like only a daughter could love a father.

I have been thinking of him alot lately and was told he walks by my side protecting me, being my gaurdian angel, going that extra mile that he feels he did not walk while here on earth. I feel he has, many times over, but I like the warmth of heart I feel knowing he is near, beside me he will walk.

I come across a song on this blog site, that when I listened to it as I typed away, my father come to mind again, in the words. So, I put the song, a few pictures of those, residential school days in a video.

“Spiritually I am native and that can never be taken away.” ~ Snowy

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In 2009, Chief Fontaine had a meeting with Pope Benedict XVI to try to obtain an apology for abuses that occurred in the residential school system.[38] The audience was funded by Indian and Northern Affairs Canada. Following the meeting, the Vatican released an official statement on the church’s role in residential schools:

His Holiness recalled that since the earliest days of her presence in Canada, the Church, particularly through her missionary personnel, has closely accompanied the indigenous peoples. Given the sufferings that some indigenous children experienced in the Canadian Residential School system, the Holy Father expressed his sorrow at the anguish caused by the deplorable conduct of some members of the Church and he offered his sympathy and prayerful solidarity. His Holiness emphasized that acts of abuse cannot be tolerated in society. He prayed that all those affected would experience healing, and he encouraged First Nations Peoples to continue to move forward with renewed hope.

Fontaine later stated at a news conference that at the meeting, he sensed the Pope’s “pain and anguish” and that the acknowledgement was “important to me and that was what I was looking for.”

Returning To Timeless Innocence Spiritually!

Spiritually we are timeless!!

So maybe while we are here in our human form, we should embrace each other more often, not only through a hug, but embrace each others uniqueness and be thankful that we have each other to hug, that we have each other to hear voices, to say I love you, I appreciate you, I understand you and I am so thankful to have you in my life…

“It is time to rise above anger, judgement and unhappiness. Celebrate your spirits resurrection! We were innocent from the beginning, we just forgot that we were.” ~Cynthia

Proud Of Who I Am

Proud Of Who I Am

Its not always easy to understand another persons heritage or culture, why they do the things they do with regards. I believe ignorance plays a big part when anyone comes to their own conclusion thinking they know another persons culture, coming across as very critical.

We all come from somewhere, someone and no one should be discounted in any way.

There is a new wave it seems with regards to the native culture and non-natives. The non-natives are wanting to experience the native culture, which is a great thing, but what part are they wanting to experience? I think to some degree they are not sure themselves, but sense something great about the native man/woman/child. The beauty of the native person is their spirituality, this is what I think is the magnet to non natives.

This is all my personal thoughts with regards and don’t speak for any other native or non-native.

Being on the internet there is no shortage of definitions with regards to spirituality, native or not and just like you can’t believe everything you are told, we should not believe
everything we read either. I guess one could say you’re on a vision quest, you need a change in your life and or you’re wondering what you should do with the rest of your life
which can be so confusing most of the time. The road is never a straight and narrow one, things are always changing, most of the time it is an uphill battle and we ask the question,why?

I believe any vision quest does not end till we are well into our adult hood, having experienced so much of life, and live to tell about it. There are times when we meet up with someone that we do not consider to be an elder yet they seem so wise and that is usually because they have been through a lot in their young lives, sorted it out, learnt the lesson and is able to relay the answers to some questions more easily than others. We are all born with the ability to create meaning for our own lives and it does not happen over night, it is a process of growth, first physically, then spiritually through coming of age.. so the vision quest was and still is in the defining moment in a persons life when they come to terms with all that has happened, can honestly say, without regret, and have a peace of mind spiritually.

I do believe in a Higher Power, something greater than myself and I also believe that any hill I climb in my life is so I can relate to another who has climbed the same hill, so I can have a greater sense of empathy, maybe I am wrong and this is just my way of not going crazy when things don’t go smoothly. I told a friend not long ago, now when I am in pain from my disease, ankylosing spondylitis and begin to pray, at times in tears, I don’t ask ‘why me?’, anymore in prayer, I have learnt to ask to be allowed to be able to sleep a few hours so I can rise above the pain for a few more hours when I do have flare ups and be able to be productive in some way throughout my day. That is a part of my spirituality, a part of who I am, because I know that there is someone out there in greater pain than I and I don’t have to watch television to see it or hear about it on the radio, there are people in some sort of pain around all of us daily.

We can not fix the whole world but we can help a friend, a family member or a neighbor, making changes in our own world and in doing so, others do the same and on and on.

I am so proud of my native heritage and even more so, I am proud to be ME, native or not..

The Quietest Moments Finds Inner Peace

The Quietest Moments Finds Inner Peace

– Even in The Quietest Moments – by Supertramp. A song written & sung with the Higher Power in mind.

That itself setting a peace of mind. Now here is what I relate to those 2 words

~ Quietest Moments ~

—the world was not let in to the realm of what I call my inner being – I was taking inventory – making peace with myself – listening to my inner self – allowing it to cry for what I had robbed it of – not fed it to grow as the physical self grew throughout my years. I fed it by reading a lot of books with regards to inner peace – happiness – love – total well being.

Have I perfected all those things? Not by a long shot – each day still learning and searching to better – feel better – communicate better with the world around me – seeing the differences and accepting them as something I can not change – only that which dwells with in my own being.

For almost 8 months I cried deep within and at times aloud – only allowing after a time – others in that could stimulate – rejuvenate something that had died over the years.. me. And I mean that literally – over the years I had began to wilt away – mind, body and soul. The mind becoming numb – the body shutting down – a soul hidden by a great wall. The pain of breaking down those walls which in turn allowed my mind to begin to absorb – the halting of an ailing body -allowing the light of my soul to peak thru each hole in the wall till it shone with all the brightness it was meant to do.

Only when we are quiet can we hear what the world – what our own person is crying out to us – what it needs to survive any hardship that crosses our path.. and what did I hear?

Love… realizing that I don’t have to search for love – that love lived deep with in me all the time from the day I entered this world from my mothers’ womb to the light of day. I was born of love – live in love – and will leave this world feeling love.

A simple example that I am love first is.. when you face another being with – fist made at your sides – a frown on your face – or a arms crossed over chest stance with head held high – what do you see standing in front of you? The world in the same stance – hands up guarding itself, ready for a fight. However if you show love with a smile and arms wide open – that is what is returned to you more times than not. We receive a reflection of ourselves each and every time. Of course there are times when no matter how much we smile and reach out a helping/greeting hand, it will be bit off – that should not deter us from continuing on a path of self love.

From the time we are children we are loaded up with some negativity along the way – as a child not recognizing the initial bad in actions and or teachings – teachings we accept as what is needed to get thru this life on earth..

To come to a point of realizing self love – we are like a fancy muffin – picking off all those negatives taught to us by people around us in those influential years.. mothers/fathers/sibling/friends/people in general.. until we have a plain muffin to which we can add all that is good and necessary to be the best muffin it could possibly be.

So am I the best muffin on the cooling rack?- No – but – I have left space for personal growth – trying to not go stale – keeping fresh with continually learning/accepting – but most of all – Loving.

There are many types of love, many strengths of love, but no love is greater than the love that we have for our individual selves. To love yourself, appreciate who you are, what you contribute the world around you, to know that each day you have or will affect at least one person you meet, if not many more and sometimes not even knowing you have touched another is what having self love does, it reflects to all those around you…then return.

Life long friendships, a friendship that no one could divide or compare…. The two have the ability to do what is for the greater of the other, not to fear but to have the courage to forge ahead with their lives as our Higher Power sees fit..to know HE will tend to the other.. to take all that is good of this friendship and build on it with those closest in our lives, at home, to grow and be all that we can be, for HIM, for our loved ones, but most of all for ourselves.

No one can question why 2 people ever became friends, timing is everything and everything in its time, as HE sees and wants it to be, yet it is not promised to anyone..so we all should live in the moment, grab hold of it, hold it dearly because that absolute second will never be again..this is just a fraction of having the ability to gain some inner peace, have peace of mind in our lives.. 2 great friends are able to gain some inner peace, peace of mind from each other, for each other, they radiate it to each other..that being said.. they are both on journeys and they both know they have come to a crossroads in our lives where they may have to part, but never let go.. no persons can step in front of what HE has willed to happen.. a true friendship that very few on this earth will ever have the joy of knowing..they can part ways, look back and smile, wish the best for the other, for those we hold dearly, their children, their family, their friends…this is what having inner peace is..they learnt how to bring more moments of inner peace into each others daily lives and how to experience those moments in their times of trouble or difficulties when they needed the most inner calmness and tranquility.. having inner peace is having the Higher Power deep within..

It is knowing you are born of love, the simple fact that ‘you are love’..

HE does not wants us to settle..HE wants us to be all that we can be, all that we need to be..yes we may need to compromise. But never lose your self, your being, your love, in the process.

God Bless your best friend and all those they hold dear.

Sit quiet – open your arms- let the world in with all its glory – hear what it is saying with out making judgement- validate and be validated.. close your eyes to sleep a peaceful sleep – open your eyes to the morning sunlight- smile & start the day with an agenda, all ..

in the name of Love..