One thing I have learnt late in life, is that I don’t know everything..lol… imagine that eh? But seriously, over the past 13 years, I have learnt when something does not seem right, mentally, emotionally and spiritually in my life, I start reading on how to deal with what is bothering me and will at times, get professional help when I can’t figure it out on my own. Doing it this way has taught me a lot of tolerance for events, past and present and with a lot of people in my life. We don’t stop learning at 16, 26, 46 or 66 years of age. There is always something that comes up, at times, may knock the wind out of our sails and learning how to deal with these things the first time, makes the next time, not so traumatizing or unmanageable.
Maybe that is what’s wrong with our young people, who seem to be so out of control these days? Are we not listening to them or taking note of their actions that should be sending us red flags? Are we living such a fast pace life that we just don’t take the time to listen and see what is unfolding before us?
We take the time to go to the dentist when we have a toothache, we go to the doctor when we feel like crap physically, how come we don’t take care of our mental health when we are in a rough state and things just seem to be getting worse, that it can literally rock our world in a not so good way?
I hate stress, mental stress, so when I am confronted with it, I can and tend to run the other way.. there is that fight or flight thing happening. So my new homework is to learn to deal with confrontation in a positive way, for myself. No one can change anyone, we all have to want to change.
Life is short, there has to be something or someone in our lives that is worth living for while we are evolving even into our golden years, that is worth the fight?
(jumps off her soapbox)
#mentalhealth, #healthylife, #love, #life
Can honestly say, been there once and never will again..
….” Now that you’ve been together for a while you might have come to realize that the neediness he has towards his own mother has trickled down to you – and it’s wreaking havoc on your love life. It’s likely that his own mom probably pampered him all his life, and now that’s what he’s grown accustomed to. What can we say, your man loves his momma, and that’s super awesome – but what isn’t awesome is that he treats you like you’re the next best thing. Of course, it’s fine to care for your boyfriend and help him out at times, but it’s not a good look when he becomes totally dependent on you to do things that his mother never made him do growing up. Sure, he might be a mama’s boy but that definitely doesn’t mean you’re supposed to pick up where his mother left off.” – Carissa Moore
Having turned 58 this month, I took time to think about where I am in my life. Firstly I thought about how I have been single for pretty much 10 of the past 13 years. Wow how time has flown. I do get the normal questions from friends and family, why are you still single? I really can’t answer that, other than maybe I know what I really want and won’t settle for less? I am happy with who I am and want to be appreciated with out being expected to change, to adapt, to conform to what another person expects of me. I guess maybe in time there will be a man who comes along and finds those things attractive in a woman and just maybe he won’t be willing to settle for anything less than that.
Online dating sites can be a terrible place a lot of the times. I do try them but get bewildered with so many men stating one thing in a profile, yet presenting themselves over time, in the opposite of everything they said. I am not really sure if I posted the below post by a gentleman, Paul Hudson in 2013, but he did hit it on the nail head, pretty much. I do believe there is a man or 2 out there that is everything he claims to be and who will treat and want to make a lady his everything, especially at this age in our lives, a man of integrity.
The best of luck to all those middle aged single people, men and women, who is looking to be found by that one person, to spend the rest of their days with. Just don’t settle for anything else than being happier than you are now.
Why Men Aren’t Really Men Anymore
By Paul Hudson
There was once a time when men used to be real men. When they dressed with style, when they had a certain honor code they followed that involved treating not only their elders and each other with respect, but women alike. Unfortunately, those days are far- gone — a thing of the past. What we have now is… to be quite honest, I’m not sure.
There are of course certain men out there who still have their affairs in order, but we are few in number. What people are most often subject to is the company of boys who are refusing to grow up and man up — boys who prefer to play with their toys than to do their part in bettering society, the human race and the world as a whole. These poor excuses for men have the bodies of adults and the mentalities, as well as the social outlook of toddlers. Horny toddlers, but toddlers nonetheless.
It’s all about character — or in this case, the lack of character. Something has been happening during this era dubbed the “information age.” Social media platforms have taken away the need to interact face to face, taking away the need for actual interaction. This is great in many regards: you can now keep in touch with friends and family all over the world from a handheld device.
However, much of the interpersonal confrontations are now also taking place online. People no longer feel that they have a need to meet in person to discuss their differences; they can now troll each other online. People are using the Internet as a shield, hiding behind IP addresses in order to speak their minds. The Internet acts like beer-muscles. It makes you believe that you are stronger than you actually are, making you more aggressive. There is nothing wrong with being aggressive when circumstances require it.
Personally, when my fight or flight response mechanism kicks in, I always go with fight. It’s not by choice; it’s just the way that I am wired. Online, people have no need to run away because they are already in hiding — so they always choose to “fight.” Although the fighting they do is just about as significant as the fighting I do when I play Call of Duty.
The same interaction from beneath cover can be seen when we look at the intercommunication between men and women. It is no secret that both men and women alike have sexual urges. Men, however, feel the need to get off more often than most women. So instead of having to spend the time to meet a real woman and have actual sexual intercourse, they watch porn.
Instead of going out into the real world and meeting women, they stalk women on Instagram. People now date online as well. It’s much easier to talk to a woman online than it is in person—or rather, it’s not that it’s easier. Both are just as easy, but for some reason, men now prefer to hide their faces behind their monitors. (Every time I use the term ‘men’ in such context I quiver) It’s out of fear and laziness. Men have become lazy pussies. I don’t even want to use the word pussy because it brings to mind women, who nowadays have much more character than men.
Generation-Y is the instant gratification generation. We want what we want right at the moment we figure out that we want it. We are willingly giving up one of the most important things in life: the waiting period. Having to wait and having to deal with our urges and wants without instantly having them satisfied is what builds character and is what we are now lacking in this fast-paced age.
If we want food, we order it online and have it delivered. If we want to listen to our favorite song, we find it on YouTube, iTunes or Spotify. If we want to watch a movie, we either buy it on demand or stream it online. If we want sex, we masturbate. If we want to have a good time, we do drugs. We have this false belief that doing things faster will give us a life more fulfilled — that it will lead to us being happier. But that isn’t the case. Most of us aren’t happier. We do more, but we experience less. We are never in the moment because we are always considering what we will be doing next in order to not become bored.
We never really feel that we are missing out on something because we no longer give things much importance. Jackie never got back to your text message? I’m sure you have several other women in your contacts that you’d equally like to f*ck — once. Then you’ll get bored and move on to the next one. Men treat women like interchangeable commodities. I do believe that most men still hope to one day fall in love and settle down. But none of them will unless they change their way of thinking and living.
Being focused on self-satisfaction will lead to nothing but broken relationships. Real men are not selfish. Real men are just as concerned for the feelings, needs and minds of women as they are for their own — not just women’s bodies and their sexual usefulness. Real men have a well-defined code of ethics and respect that they follow.
How can anyone call himself a man if the last time he had to confront another man — whether it be over a social incident or for business purposes — was before he hit puberty? If you don’t have the twiddle-diddles to approach a woman at a bar in person and have a proper, intellectual conversation, making the woman feel respected and comfortable, then move over for the real men.
It’s awful because women are becoming accustomed to such boys and believing that these pansies are all that is left of our sex. Some great women are settling for these fools and then finding that they themselves have no choice but to wear the pants in the family because their “man” is PMSing. All I can hope for is that the law of evolution will see the world rid of these weaklings, these characterless, hopeless pseudo-men.
Ladies… real men do exist; there aren’t many of us, but we’re survivors and will be around for a while. Come find us.
I smile when I hear one of my children say to, at the moment when frustrated about something, to one of my grandchildren, “use your words please.” Because they are teaching my grandchildren how to communicate!
As a child there could be a lot of reasons why, I don’t recall either one of my parents saying that to me. It was so different back in the day, when a quiet child was thought to be a obedient child, but all the while, that child was storing all types of feelings and thoughts, some good and some bad, until one day, maybe 30 years later, maybe less, they explode!
Being taught at a young age how to communicate all feelings good or bad, prepares children how to lead productive lives. Of course there will be times we as parents are caught up with life’s problems that we just want quiet time but if we are constantly putting off our children’s need to communicate with us, eventually they will find an outside source to deal with all that pent up chaos, good or bad. Such as, hanging with the wrong crowd, abusing alcohol and drugs and the worse, being sucked into toxic relationships because some one who wants to use them for whatever reason took the time to ask, “how are you?” and listened, well pretended to listen to them. Don’t tell a child to be quiet when their actions are saying more, don’t tell a child to be quiet, all the time, let them talk!
Maybe, just maybe we as adults are the ones with the issue, unable to communicate with others civilly and listen earnestly to what others are saying?
Communication, so important at all stages of life!
Can you hear me now?
Canada is on the move!!
Welcome to the UNITED Yellow Vests Canada Group
300+ Transports are headed to Ottawa!
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PLEASE READ THE RULES
If you choose not to conduct yourself within the rules of this group, you will be asked to leave the group.
This group is the core of Canadian Yellow Vest organizers and members across the nation, regardless of race, ethnicity or religion. It opposes supranational legislation of the United Nations superseding democratic Canadian legislation and sovereignty.
It opposes the 151 year establishment parties that have become unaccountable to Canadians and the representative democracy of our Westminster parliamentary system of governance.
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When I Need You By – Leo Sayer
I just close my eyes and I’m with you
And all that I so want to give you
It’s only a heartbeat away
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
The telephone can’t take the place of your smile
But you know I won’t be travelin’ forever
It’s cold out but hold out and do I like I do
I just close my eyes and I’m with you
And all that I so want to give you babe
It’s only a heartbeat away
Honey that’s a heavy load that we bear
But you know I won’t be travelin’ a lifetime
It’s cold out but hold out and do like I do
Valentine Day vs Single Awareness Day.. what we see and what is actually standing before us. .. I can only speak for myself, as a single middle aged woman and be selfish by admitting the type of partner I want in my life is someone who accepts me for what I am, who I am, as much as I accept myself for those things. I am too young at heart, yet too old to perform or accept anything less. Putting ourselves out there as a single looking but not wanting to look too desperate is a challenge. It’s scary to be honest and it’s also scary to be honest….Ha!….A lot of single men and women do go out, to mingle among the masses and at times, get scared back into their comfort zones because of what they are confronted with. As a woman, you look across the room and lock eyes with the Jack Nicholson from The Shining type, which is totally freaky! Or see the shadow of an amazon type woman looking like she just jumped out of a Barbie gift box, but if we are strong enough as an independent woman, as much as intimidating the views are, we shant succumb to the fear of competition or intimidation, but laugh at it. Surely there are men who will look about a room and see the same, but in female form, the She Devil of the Shining or that woman ready to get her teeth into him like he is a fine cut steak..lol… There are those singles out there that are looking just for that, the fast and furious. Which leaves the ones just wanting a relationship that doesn’t leave you running to the door within the first 24 hours. Slow and easy, baby steps is the best. Not the attitude, well are we doing this or not!? No one likes to be pressured, especially when it comes to wanting to be vulnerable with another person. We shouldn’t read too much into what others think we need, every one has an opinion and always will. I am thinking after I file my income tax this year, Revenue Canada will probably leave a PS at the bottom of my assessment return .. “Still single Cynthia?!”.. ha!!! We are in the era of speaking out, saying exactly what we want, when we want it, instead of listening to what we are really appreciated for. Which is hard at times because we don’t want to sound over zealous either. Bah!, dammed if we don’t and dammed if we do! Just enjoy life. Get out there an mingle if you’re single! Maybe if we keep in mind, that Mr./Ms. Right isn’t going to come break into our homes looking for us, that we actually need to get out to be found, that it is the best part of the single life journey. We can’t give up!! I know I won’t, even if studies show that 9 out of 10 men prefer women with big butts ( I got no butt..lol) and the other 1 man prefers the 9 men. I will be found by the happy medium, at some point.