One Foot Off The Bed in 2017

I woke up to below freezing temperatures with the aroma of un-perked coffee, freshly ground coffee beans invading my nostrils, a memory of yesterday. I need to get out of bed, use the facilities and get a pot of freshly ground 100% Columbian a brewing..but…I lay on my back staring at the ceiling at 5:30 am, on a Sunday morning. I was making an effort to rise as my left leg hung off the bed, a rustled comforter twisted beside me and my flannel nighty binding me like a bad mummy Halloween costume. Here I lay, 55 years old, somewhat experienced in the trials of life. Nothing could prepare us for our individual journeys, yet so many have walked the same path of bumps and pot holes, just at a different pace, a different day, a different town, different friends and different families. And maybe we met at a crossroad, I don’t recall but there will be times in your company, I get that feeling of deja vu!

Oh well, yet I still lay here at 55 years old and think of my child rearing days. How old or how young was I again? Does the age matter at this point? It did when my home was filled with teenagers, all thinking they knew what was best and how to live a life without getting guidance from an aging parent. But I tried to explain anyway. Hey! I wasn’t born 35, 38 or 42 years old you know!! I was a teenager once upon a time. Just like you, I knew everything, yet little did I realize back then, like you, I knew nothing, but felt everything.

So here I lay, 55 years old, half out of bed, half in the bed, the sound of the freight train rumbling down the tracks on the south part of town and the still faint memory of freshly ground coffee piercing my morning thoughts, edging me ever so closer to the edge of the bed.

Change is eminent, nothing and no one stays the same. Even our selfish ego got tired of life dramatics, deciding to live and let live. My mental complexity, no longer able to absorb toxic relations, anymore than this 55 year old body could win an Olympic sprint but surely making a spectacle as I trip over life’s hurdles. Till I gained enough smarts to ask for assistance and see who would be on the other end of a life hurdle with hands out, always ready like a great friend would be.

But here I lay, nothing really changed since I first crawled into bed at 10 pm last evening. Wait!! Something has changed..it’s a new year!!! I have wakened into a new year!! I made it! Another year older, another year to try and get it right! Maybe I will find a teenager today to gain some insight on how to live a happy life. And laugh I will!! As they begin to guide me..with such innocence, yet with unknowing ignorance of what really lies ahead for them on their journey. Or maybe go visit an aging parent, in a home, sitting in a rocker, looking out the window, waiting for company, waiting for anyone to come visit and break up the long lonesome day. And listen for a while to his or her stories about life. A life lived, in real time…second by second..minute by minute..hour by hour…day by day..month by month…year by year. Yes the true voice of wisdom awaits my ears, an elder. And another voice.. a teenager awaits my ears…

Happy New Year eh!!!

I jump out of bed, both feet on the floor, another year older..another year to get it right….another year to older and we will never pass this way again…life is short, nothing lasts forever but a memory. Get out there and make some great ones!!

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Until There Is No More Time Left

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Sometimes you sit in the quiet morning, before the sun rises, before others begin to stir, before the beginning sounds of morning traffic drive by your window and all you hear is you. You hear each breath you take, the clicking of a heating register, the ice box motor and the loudest sound is the clock on the wall.. you hear time.
You hear time clicking away and before it reaches the finish line, you think of past times, all the moments of your life that you were dealt, all the moments of life, that you made choices, some good moments, some not so good moments, but every second, a time of your life.
You think of the times you were so misunderstood, when no one took the time to ask you, how you were doing or that maybe just for a second you were thinking of stopping time, about ending time, as they know it, because you did not have enough energy left to spend another minute trying to make the world understand, that all you needed was, time.
You think of all the days, you tried your best to spread the hours out amongst those who needed your time, only to have it wasted because your time was not appreciated, because you just didn’t take enough time, according to them, to give them more time..but you gave as much time as you could in the 24 hours of any given day. So they push you away, not wanting your time, not the moments you were able to give, no, you weren’t measuring up in seconds, in minutes, in hours, in days, it was never enough.
But the day comes, and for a second there is a glimmer of hope, a measure in time, where you find the strength to go on, just one more day and into the next day, next month and year, you take back time that you spent trying to please the unpleasable and spent that time on you.
Take your time, said that voice inside your head, take it slow, take all the time you need and don’t worry about giving back, because the time you spend on yourself is not returnable, it is yours to do with as you want, just don’t waste another second of your, me time.
Because one day, there will be no more time left, on this earth, to spend it doing the things you love, the things you want to experience, your time will end and  you can be happy knowing YOU were time well spent with no regrets.
And all that is left will be the questions by others, why didn’t I give just a little more time? One day, a moment, just a little more time? Because time is not promised to anyone, don’t take it for granted..
Live, love and laugh, this moment in time…

Naughty Notables

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All these poems/verses are written by myself..

I am a slave
to my passion
Hanging
by a thread
No light
at the end
of my tunnel
Poke and prod
Never ceasing
To amaze
So many sides
Selfish
Enduring
Spiritually
Pleasing.
****************
Dark and naughty
A delightful dish
Bad words
Heavy sex
A smorgasbord
A naughty minds wish
Sensing, feeling
Every bit
Tasting
on the tip
of my tongue
Hear it
Read it
White to black
Holiness unsung.
**************
Dark confessions
You’re feeling
startled
By the depths
Got my point across
Murkiness
Unsettled promises
I can’t keep
This dark side
of my being
Wakened when your
world sleeps
You’re unable
to accept
Even in this life
worn body
A spirit
Of naughtiness
Does creep.
***************
Your wanton ways
leave me wanting
Raunchy, rough
carnal desires
In the morning
and evening hours
The lustful, immoral
thoughts inspire.

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Your lascivious ways
are so erotic
That devil may care
attitude excites me
Seen by only you and I ,
no soul around
Our own little world,
so sensual as need be.

So be as passionate
as you plead
Whisper your thoughts
or scream aloud
Let yourself go,
an orgasmic quest
Abandoned morals,
I shall fill your need.
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