Middle Aged & Dating

Having turned 58 this month, I took time to think about where I am in my life. Firstly I thought about how I have been single for pretty much 10 of the past 13 years. Wow how time has flown. I do get the normal questions from friends and family, why are you still single? I really can’t answer that, other than maybe I know what I really want and won’t settle for less? I am happy with who I am and want to be appreciated with out being expected to change, to adapt, to conform to what another person expects of me. I guess maybe in time there will be a man who comes along and finds those things attractive in a woman and just maybe he won’t be willing to settle for anything less than that.

Online dating sites can be a terrible place a lot of the times. I do try them but get bewildered with so many men stating one thing in a profile, yet presenting themselves over time, in the opposite of everything they said. I am not really sure if I posted the below post by a gentleman, Paul Hudson in 2013, but he did hit it on the nail head, pretty much. I do believe there is a man or 2 out there that is everything he claims to be and who will treat and want to make a lady his everything, especially at this age in our lives, a man of integrity.

The best of luck to all those middle aged single people, men and women, who is looking to be found by that one person, to spend the rest of their days with. Just don’t settle for anything else than being happier than you are now.

Why Men Aren’t Really Men Anymore

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By Paul Hudson

There was once a time when men used to be real men. When they dressed with style, when they had a certain honor code they followed that involved treating not only their elders and each other with respect, but women alike. Unfortunately, those days are far- gone — a thing of the past. What we have now is… to be quite honest, I’m not sure.

There are of course certain men out there who still have their affairs in order, but we are few in number. What people are most often subject to is the company of boys who are refusing to grow up and man up — boys who prefer to play with their toys than to do their part in bettering society, the human race and the world as a whole. These poor excuses for men have the bodies of adults and the mentalities, as well as the social outlook of toddlers. Horny toddlers, but toddlers nonetheless.

It’s all about character — or in this case, the lack of character. Something has been happening during this era dubbed the “information age.” Social media platforms have taken away the need to interact face to face, taking away the need for actual interaction. This is great in many regards: you can now keep in touch with friends and family all over the world from a handheld device.

However, much of the interpersonal confrontations are now also taking place online. People no longer feel that they have a need to meet in person to discuss their differences; they can now troll each other online. People are using the Internet as a shield, hiding behind IP addresses in order to speak their minds. The Internet acts like beer-muscles. It makes you believe that you are stronger than you actually are, making you more aggressive. There is nothing wrong with being aggressive when circumstances require it.

Personally, when my fight or flight response mechanism kicks in, I always go with fight. It’s not by choice; it’s just the way that I am wired. Online, people have no need to run away because they are already in hiding — so they always choose to “fight.” Although the fighting they do is just about as significant as the fighting I do when I play Call of Duty.

The same interaction from beneath cover can be seen when we look at the intercommunication between men and women. It is no secret that both men and women alike have sexual urges. Men, however, feel the need to get off more often than most women. So instead of having to spend the time to meet a real woman and have actual sexual intercourse, they watch porn.

Instead of going out into the real world and meeting women, they stalk women on Instagram. People now date online as well. It’s much easier to talk to a woman online than it is in person—or rather, it’s not that it’s easier. Both are just as easy, but for some reason, men now prefer to hide their faces behind their monitors. (Every time I use the term ‘men’ in such context I quiver) It’s out of fear and laziness. Men have become lazy pussies. I don’t even want to use the word pussy because it brings to mind women, who nowadays have much more character than men.

Generation-Y is the instant gratification generation. We want what we want right at the moment we figure out that we want it. We are willingly giving up one of the most important things in life: the waiting period. Having to wait and having to deal with our urges and wants without instantly having them satisfied is what builds character and is what we are now lacking in this fast-paced age.

If we want food, we order it online and have it delivered. If we want to listen to our favorite song, we find it on YouTube, iTunes or Spotify. If we want to watch a movie, we either buy it on demand or stream it online. If we want sex, we masturbate. If we want to have a good time, we do drugs. We have this false belief that doing things faster will give us a life more fulfilled — that it will lead to us being happier. But that isn’t the case. Most of us aren’t happier. We do more, but we experience less. We are never in the moment because we are always considering what we will be doing next in order to not become bored.

We never really feel that we are missing out on something because we no longer give things much importance. Jackie never got back to your text message? I’m sure you have several other women in your contacts that you’d equally like to f*ck — once. Then you’ll get bored and move on to the next one. Men treat women like interchangeable commodities. I do believe that most men still hope to one day fall in love and settle down. But none of them will unless they change their way of thinking and living.

Being focused on self-satisfaction will lead to nothing but broken relationships. Real men are not selfish. Real men are just as concerned for the feelings, needs and minds of women as they are for their own — not just women’s bodies and their sexual usefulness. Real men have a well-defined code of ethics and respect that they follow.

How can anyone call himself a man if the last time he had to confront another man — whether it be over a social incident or for business purposes — was before he hit puberty? If you don’t have the twiddle-diddles to approach a woman at a bar in person and have a proper, intellectual conversation, making the woman feel respected and comfortable, then move over for the real men.

It’s awful because women are becoming accustomed to such boys and believing that these pansies are all that is left of our sex. Some great women are settling for these fools and then finding that they themselves have no choice but to wear the pants in the family because their “man” is PMSing. All I can hope for is that the law of evolution will see the world rid of these weaklings, these characterless, hopeless pseudo-men.

Ladies… real men do exist; there aren’t many of us, but we’re survivors and will be around for a while. Come find us.

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Use Your Words Please

I smile when I hear one of my children say to, at the moment when frustrated about something, to one of my grandchildren, “use your words please.” Because they are teaching my grandchildren how to communicate!

As a child there could be a lot of reasons why, I don’t recall either one of my parents saying that to me. It was so different back in the day, when a quiet child was thought to be a obedient child, but all the while, that child was storing all types of feelings and thoughts, some good and some bad, until one day, maybe 30 years later, maybe less, they explode!


Being taught at a young age how to communicate all feelings good or bad, prepares children how to lead productive lives. Of course there will be times we as parents are caught up with life’s problems that we just want quiet time but if we are constantly putting off our children’s need to communicate with us, eventually they will find an outside source to deal with all that pent up chaos, good or bad. Such as, hanging with the wrong crowd, abusing alcohol and drugs and the worse, being sucked into toxic relationships because some one who wants to use them for whatever reason took the time to ask, “how are you?” and listened, well pretended to listen to them. Don’t tell a child to be quiet when their actions are saying more, don’t tell a child to be quiet, all the time, let them talk!

Maybe, just maybe we as adults are the ones with the issue, unable to communicate with others civilly and listen earnestly to what others are saying?

Communication, so important at all stages of life!

Can you hear me now?

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