Another Key Spirituality ~ Unseen Love

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A great man said to me some time ago…

“I vow to give you the support needed without complaint or resignation, for that is my significance in life and the reason for my existence, I want you to touch me, feel me, giving to you, unseen, for as long as you need me, for I embrace the weight of your worlds, unselfishly”I would say it has taken a long time to understand what he was really saying but I was not listening. Maybe it was because I was not ready to understand. It is a love unconditional, a free love with no limits. How blessed I was and how blessed I am to have had such a person in my life when I needed them most. I know my Higher Power set this person in my path. And yet, until they left my pathway, did I realize how much he was really showing me the way.

I don’t know if anyone else thinks the way I do, but to me each relationship I have with anyone.. Good or bad, leaves a mark on me and the good ones, leave me with something that can not be replaced by any other in this world, some marks stronger than others, more noticeable than others.. As with him, there will be no one ever who will or can hold a candle to what he meant to me over that entire 3 years, how forever all that it was will be stored in a most treasured spot.. My heart.. He has encouraged nothing but good in my being and for that I will be forever thankful.

I have learnt how to love, let go, and open my heart to love again. And I’ve survived those heart-wrenching, gut-twisting break-ups that slam a person to the ground and rip you to pieces whether by a loved one dying or deciding they do not or can not be with me.. All things out of my control.

I read some where this quote..”You are a link, that to me, will never go missing.” – Unknown

How often do we feel that way about some one in our lives? And how many people go through their lives never feeling that way at all about another?

I have chosen to forgive pain in my life and see how it may have benefited me instead of suffering from it. And I will always remember who has brought some kind of love to my life, for there is many kinds of love. For every separation, I have made a connection to a greater source.. My Higher Power and to me, that is healing.

As the great Ram Dass has said, ‘Keep in mind these fours words, I am loving awareness.”

I do believe that at the end of the day it is all about the unseen love of feelings.

I Don’t Recall

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“It’s like riding a bike, you never forget.”

I don’t believe that quote anymore, as I age.

There is many things I don’t recall how to do or what I did to achieve a positive outcome. Timing is every thing, it helps us forget and helps us remember. I ask a lot of questions of friends and family (Mom use to call me a, Question Box) and a lot of the time, the answer is, “I don’t remember.”

And what about the  younger generation?  Who think they know everything. I think I have forgotten more than they know, I just don’t recall half of what I know.

Memories are an important part of my life, I don’t live in the past, but I don’t want to forget it either. Because Mom had dementia and I do recall her frustration when she could not recall something.  So, I will keep talking, asking questions and probing for answers. I love google!!..lol…

Keep sharp, be that 2 year old who constantly ask questions. You never know what you could learn, if you listen. But that is another subject, eh?. 😉

Where was I going with this

One Foot Off The Bed in 2017

I woke up to below freezing temperatures with the aroma of un-perked coffee, freshly ground coffee beans invading my nostrils, a memory of yesterday. I need to get out of bed, use the facilities and get a pot of freshly ground 100% Columbian a brewing..but…I lay on my back staring at the ceiling at 5:30 am, on a Sunday morning. I was making an effort to rise as my left leg hung off the bed, a rustled comforter twisted beside me and my flannel nighty binding me like a bad mummy Halloween costume. Here I lay, 55 years old, somewhat experienced in the trials of life. Nothing could prepare us for our individual journeys, yet so many have walked the same path of bumps and pot holes, just at a different pace, a different day, a different town, different friends and different families. And maybe we met at a crossroad, I don’t recall but there will be times in your company, I get that feeling of deja vu!

Oh well, yet I still lay here at 55 years old and think of my child rearing days. How old or how young was I again? Does the age matter at this point? It did when my home was filled with teenagers, all thinking they knew what was best and how to live a life without getting guidance from an aging parent. But I tried to explain anyway. Hey! I wasn’t born 35, 38 or 42 years old you know!! I was a teenager once upon a time. Just like you, I knew everything, yet little did I realize back then, like you, I knew nothing, but felt everything.

So here I lay, 55 years old, half out of bed, half in the bed, the sound of the freight train rumbling down the tracks on the south part of town and the still faint memory of freshly ground coffee piercing my morning thoughts, edging me ever so closer to the edge of the bed.

Change is eminent, nothing and no one stays the same. Even our selfish ego got tired of life dramatics, deciding to live and let live. My mental complexity, no longer able to absorb toxic relations, anymore than this 55 year old body could win an Olympic sprint but surely making a spectacle as I trip over life’s hurdles. Till I gained enough smarts to ask for assistance and see who would be on the other end of a life hurdle with hands out, always ready like a great friend would be.

But here I lay, nothing really changed since I first crawled into bed at 10 pm last evening. Wait!! Something has changed..it’s a new year!!! I have wakened into a new year!! I made it! Another year older, another year to try and get it right! Maybe I will find a teenager today to gain some insight on how to live a happy life. And laugh I will!! As they begin to guide me..with such innocence, yet with unknowing ignorance of what really lies ahead for them on their journey. Or maybe go visit an aging parent, in a home, sitting in a rocker, looking out the window, waiting for company, waiting for anyone to come visit and break up the long lonesome day. And listen for a while to his or her stories about life. A life lived, in real time…second by second..minute by minute..hour by hour…day by day..month by month…year by year. Yes the true voice of wisdom awaits my ears, an elder. And another voice.. a teenager awaits my ears…

Happy New Year eh!!!

I jump out of bed, both feet on the floor, another year older..another year to get it right….another year to older and we will never pass this way again…life is short, nothing lasts forever but a memory. Get out there and make some great ones!!