Valentine Vs. Single Awareness Day

Valentine Day vs Single Awareness Day.. what we see and what is actually standing before us. .. I can only speak for myself, as a single middle aged woman and be selfish by admitting the type of partner I want in my life is someone who accepts me for what I am, who I am, as much as I accept myself for those things. I am too young at heart, yet too old to perform or accept anything less. Putting ourselves out there as a single looking but not wanting to look too desperate is a challenge. It’s scary to be honest and it’s also scary to be honest….Ha!….A lot of single men and women do go out, to mingle among the masses and at times, get scared back into their comfort zones because of what they are confronted with. As a woman, you look across the room and lock eyes with the Jack Nicholson from The Shining type, which is totally freaky! Or see the shadow of an amazon type woman looking like she just jumped out of a Barbie gift box, but if we are strong enough as an independent woman, as much as intimidating the views are, we shant succumb to the fear of competition or intimidation, but laugh at it. Surely there are men who will look about a room and see the same, but in female form, the She Devil of the Shining or that woman ready to get her teeth into him like he is a fine cut steak..lol… There are those singles out there that are looking just for that, the fast and furious. Which leaves the ones just wanting a relationship that doesn’t leave you running to the door within the first 24 hours. Slow and easy, baby steps is the best. Not the attitude, well are we doing this or not!? No one likes to be pressured, especially when it comes to wanting to be vulnerable with another person. We shouldn’t read too much into what others think we need, every one has an opinion and always will. I am thinking after I file my income tax this year, Revenue Canada will probably leave a PS at the bottom of my assessment return .. “Still single Cynthia?!”.. ha!!! We are in the era of speaking out, saying exactly what we want, when we want it, instead of listening to what we are really appreciated for. Which is hard at times because we don’t want to sound over zealous either. Bah!, dammed if we don’t and dammed if we do! Just enjoy life. Get out there an mingle if you’re single! Maybe if we keep in mind, that Mr./Ms. Right isn’t going to come break into our homes looking for us, that we actually need to get out to be found, that it is the best part of the single life journey. We can’t give up!! I know I won’t, even if studies show that 9 out of 10 men prefer women with big butts ( I got no butt..lol) and the other 1 man prefers the 9 men. I will be found by the happy medium, at some point. 

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12 Days 1 Valentine!

This is not a man bashing note because I know there are a few females who can be quite ignorant to the needs of the man in their life as well.
However, at some point the woman you are married to, was some one you chased like she was the prize and for those who don’t believe it, she is the prize and you apparently won!
Women are emotional creatures, again there are a lot of sensitive men as well. But I want to focus on my gender with this one, for the men in their lives that are not attentive to the woman in their lives for the most part and I don’t care what anyone says, Valentine Day, whether commercialized or not, is one day, if you are failing the other 364 days of
the year to get some big brownie points with the lady in your life.

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You have 12 days to figure out how you can show the lady in your life, just what she means to you. I am single and want that man who is sensitive to my emotional being, we love to be put on a pedestal by the man in our lives, we love those unexpected terms of endearment and heartfelt surprises. A lot of men say, “I don’t know what to get her”, really? After the length of time you have been with that woman, you don’t have any idea what would make her melt and forget the error of your ways the day before? If that is the case, then you truly are not paying attention to the person you have committed yourself to with some degree.
You have 12 days to make a plan, to figure it out. Plan a date night, one she will never forget – buy that dozen or roses, that piece of jewelry, her favorite chocolates, a spa day gift certificate and if you can not afford none of the above, spend $8.50 on a Valentine card, writing your thoughts on the blank page inside.
Do something, because when men stop feeding their lady’s emotional needs, they are most likely to go in search of some one who can provide that, Your actions as a partner can either teach her what she can live without or appreciate who she is living with.
Remember, if nothing else, a box of chocolates, flowers or any item that expresses your love and appreciation is a lot cheaper at the end of the day, than a divorce will ever be!
2 thumbs up to the men who do it regularly and women if you have that sort of man in your life that makes the effort to treat you like the gem you are to him, count your blessings!
12 days!! Happy Spouse Happy House!

HONESTLY SINGLE

One thing I have heard alot over the years of being single from people who are either in a relationship or married is, “glad I’m not single anymore! Seems like the life of dating or to find a partner sucks these days!”
Being pretty much single 10 of 13 years, that statement is fact! I don’t think you will find a “single person” over 40 yrs old say they love being single. Whether it’s a man or woman living the single life for 3 plus years, they usually have worked alot on overcoming alot of past issues in their lives and just becoming a better person all around, knowing their self worth and want to be found by that one person who can appreciate everything about them. No one is perfect and no one more than a, long term single, knows that better than many. You can not find a, single person, saying they are okay with not, cuddling another person or not having that one person to spend the rest of their life with. For myself I can be honest and will say, all I want is some one that will match the effort I bring to the relationship. Yes we all have our bad days, but we want some one in our lives that is strong enough, who loves us enough, who can cope with the bad days and show the appreciation for the great days. A long term single person doesn’t want to enter a relationship where they see more red flags than hearts. And maybe we, singles, do have a few more expectations, but again we don’t want to be the only one of the couple, making all the exceptions. The drive between two lovers should be a delight, and the journey is usually made up of no exceptions for many. I for one, won’t settle just to be with someone. There has to be chemistry. Oil and vinegar will never mix, there has to be a binder of some sort to hold it together, if not, then expect it to separate. So don’t think your single friends are too fussy or expect too much of another, we are motivated by first and foremost, knowing our worth and believing a, Mr. Right or Ms. Right is maybe just around the corner, armed with that unconditional love you happy couples brag about all the time. Until then, even in our loneliest hour we will fall asleep hugging our pillows a little tighter than most and let our faith and good old destiny play it’s roll each morning we wake up because we have come to realize the difference between an, I love you and I am IN love with you.

 

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Singled Out On New Years Eve

Pretty much single for 10 years now and I think maybe twice I have actually went out to celebrate the incoming new year. Again this year, I will be staying home and I am okay with that. Good time to think about my new year wants and needs. And maybe get some writing done. But I will raise a glass of Fresca to you all!.. Cheers! Be safe out there on the highways and byways! We want to talk to you not about you!

Continue reading “Singled Out On New Years Eve”

Dear Men….

I come across this online and think it is just beautiful!…

DEAR MEN :
Do you know…
“That when you enter a woman, you are actually INSIDE of another human being, you are inside of her?
Have you ever realized how sacred this is?
That this is the closest thing to oneness that you will ever experience, and that she holds this gift for you…
That you can return to the womb and to the point of creation…
That you can plant the seeds of creation as well…
That when you leave her, she feels the separation as you physically pulls out and leave her empty…
That being allowed inside of her is a gift, an honoring, something sacred, and that it is your job to know, respect and honor this…
That her heart is connected to her sex, and when you want to enter her sex, you enter her heart as well…
That she feels everything when you enter her, as all of your energy is being passed on and into her. Therefore you have a responsibility of entering with transparency of your intentions, as she will feel all the ways you might use her to avoid feeling your own pain or emotions. You need to be mindful and aware about why you are entering her, and what you are filling her up with…
That “sex” is the cosmic union of the feminine and the masculine energy, a sacred meeting of polarities, and that it has nothing to do with reaching an orgasm, lasting long enough, the size, another number for your collection, or your worth…
That truly opening up a woman, is about going deep, but not going deep within her, going deep within yourself, knowing yourself, and the deeper you are able to enter yourself, the deeper you can enter a woman as well…”

beautifully written by Zoe  Johansen 

Remembering The Past With A Smile

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Has the family unit has been broken into pieces.

I have 3 children and recall going to visit my parents a couple days a week, always a Sunday and at times take the 10 minute drive after supper to have a cup of tea with my mother, as we sat out on her deck and talked about her day and mine. My mother was a victim of Alzheimer, slowly she began to forget simple things she did the day before or a name and would always say to me, “don’t forget I love you.” Almost as if I was the one who was loosing her memory. Those visits are what I miss the most now that I am a single middle aged woman, living on her own. I recall how she would make comment about one or two of her children she had not seen in a while, she was missing them. But I know they did visit at some point, yet it was her feelings when she talked that broke my heart. Memories can be fleeting, time is promised to no one.

It is different these days, our children just don’t have the time it seems to visit once a week, let alone for that after supper cup of tea a couple times a week. Then we have the new late teen age group, who have either not been taught how important family is, how respecting their elders, related or not, is so important.

As I sit here by the window, with a chilly breeze coming through the 2 inch crack of it’s opening, hearing it shake the yellow, orange and red leaves off the trees, I am reminded of change and nothing or no one can stop it. Are our relationships, our families shaken as easily as the leaves off the mighty oak and birch trees?

Has this new society shaken the Mom and Pop’s traditional way of life? Have we found it easier to quit on each other than put in the effort of keeping the link solid between each other?

It is that time of year, once again, for me, when I experienced so much loss between now and spring that gets me thinking of those who passed over and how or if I took for granted any one of them when they were here on this earth, I bow my head and say, I loved you…no regrets. Rest in peace and may the autumn breeze raise your spirit and frolic with your memories forever. I will always remember the beauty of yesterday’s moment..

Being Noticed

Did you ever hear of, Iyanla Vanzant ?, She is an American inspirational speaker, lawyer, spiritual teacher, author and life coach. I have read a couple of her books and watched her show on television a couple times. Her advice is so great and I think that is because she has lived the circumstance, learnt how to deal with it and is willing to share just how to get over life crap with her followers. One of her quotes goes something like, ‘we all want to be liked, loved and appreciated by our loves ones, family and close friends. And that is fine, what is not fine is the things we do, to get that appreciation and love.” You can’t be the only one always reaching out to others, especially if you are not being acknowledged by others as well. When people care about your part in the lives, they will reach out and ask you how you are or if there is something they can do for you or invite you to join them for something as simple as a coffee or meal. Most of us will feel bad when we are not made some kind of priority in, loved ones life, but it is all about learning, ourselves, to stop prioritizing those who don’t prioritize us. Life is so short, we need to give our time to those who value our time and vice versa. As individuals, we can not save the world or beg to be a part of any ones else’s world. You tried your best, be happy and enjoy one day at a time with those who appreciate your time and energy! Wish the others peace and love, then move forward!

 

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