I love my Mother, even more now, that she has passed over, because I realize what great part she played in my life. I am female and miss all that she was feminine and then I try to imagine what the male gender learns from their Mother while she is alive and what they miss when she is passed. We are all teachers and our greatest teachers are our parents.. Whether those teachings are good or bad.. We are being taught. It is really up to us what we walk away with.
However. I want to talk about Mothers and Sons.. A few years ago, a gentleman friend said mothers need to stop babying their sons because they are only raising weak men when they do. Yes love your son but teach him strength. Well of course being a Mommy and a defiant one at times, I disagree and got on the defence, meaning I argued with him.
But today I do see what he is saying.. When I say.. See.. I mean I see how babying our sons would leave them fighting with themselves, always searching for their own identity as they age. Thank God some do find it, but there are those that don’t. Those that get swallowed up by a weakened society and they become a part of the weakness. They go against the grain of who and what they are meant to be.. Strong. The male gender needs their strength to make it in this screwed up world these days, especially today.
So how do I suggest that be done by Mothers?. Stop being such control freaks!! Let their fathers lead them, teach them and stop letting our feelings towards their fathers or the male race in general get in the way of our son’s teaching. This is one of those times when we combine thoughts with feelings, when in reality they are quite different.
When I look at my son today.. He is strength. He is strong in so many ways. Yes his father and I are divorced, but when it come to my children’s father, he did his best at that job. His role as father, a good father can not be denied. My son today, stands up for what he believes in.. family first and will defend that family no matter what. He loves his lady, his babies and does what he needs to do to see their needs are met.
He is on guard.
As my son’s mother, I gave him advice on how to love and what love means to the people around him, but I did not take away his pride, with control. He learnt from his mistakes. And it was hard for me as a mother, the need to protect, yet allowing him to make mistakes at the same time. I am positive I made mistakes in his upbringing as well.
I knew I did my job as a Mother when after 30 years, I got this one special phone call, this summer, from my son and thanked me for being the mother I was to him. For what I taught him about women and how to love a woman.
My job here is done.. No questions asked or waiting to be asked. He is the man of his own life with good morals. What more could I ask for?.. Nothing.