A couple years ago, I had a chat with a friend, she was one of those people that kept to herself, she didn’t talk much or get involved in much. We became friends and through that slight smile, I felt like she was covering something up, not only because she was quiet or did not smile a lot, but there was a depth in her eyes, she looked lost.
Being who I am, at times asking the right question, yes, I do that on occasion. :).. she decided one day to open up to me.
Her son died, 4 years prior, at 10 years old and she was still in mourning. It being Christmas time, she was even more down because it was another year without her son. She told me that her marriage had ended also after her son’s death.
For some people, a death of another, close, can break a relationship(s) or bring them closer together, with her and her husband, it broke them.
I, being a spiritual person, I know they are and sense my loved ones close by, even after they have passed over. Of course I miss their touch, the sound of their voice, but I do feel them near and that allows me to get through my days of missing them.
So I started to ask her a few questions..
What was his favourite toy, his favourite meal, his favourite holiday??
She answered all 3 questions and when she said Christmas was his favourite holiday, I asked her, why and what made it special to him? Then I asked her what she did on Christmas day? She told me she sat at home alone and would cry. She told me she did not put a tree up or decorate the house or make a Christmas dinner.
I asked her if she believed he was an angel? She told me yes.
I told her then what I believed and that she may not agree, but I had to tell her.
During the Christmas holidays, she did not cook, shop for gifts or decorate, not even put up a tree and then on Christmas day, while she sat there alone and cried, her son, also sat there, in spirit, aside her and cried.
She asked me what I meant.
I asked her if that thought, of him, crying, on what was a holiday that he use to love. Where she cooked and he ate, where she had shopped and wrapped gifts, he opened on Christmas morning, smiling and laughing cause he was so happy with what, Santa, had brought him. How he would sit on the floor in front of the Christmas tree every night before bed, when she turned the lights on and think of Christmas morning and what would be under it, presents!
But now, he sat, aside her and cried, because she was crying and missing him. Yet, he was still there and why not do those things that made him happy when he was here on earth, knowing and believing when she did them, it would bring him closer in spirit and she also would feel the joy of the season, as it was meant to be, since the beginning of time. A time of birth and new beginnings. And he could, rest in peace, knowing she remembers him happy and continues to live happy. Yes, it is hard to begin to live again after a loved one passes over, but if we take the time to do those things they use to love to do when they were here with us, we will feel them closer because we are celebrating a life, their life.
After the holidays, she came to me and said she did what I suggested. She shopped, she cooked, she decorated and then she invited friends and family over. Yes, she said, she cried, but it was tears of joy and that she will continue to do things that her son loved to do when he was alive and include his memory in everything she does from now on. Then she thanked me. I was in awe, because I was not expecting her to follow through, since we parted ways that day before the holidays without her really saying anything.
Live Love Laugh!!