What Is Dysfunctional?

Having worked in the addictions field, one word a person hears a lot is, dysfunctional. Which leads many, I find, to think, dysfunctional relates only to the world of addicts. And I have heard many deny they may be dysfunctional because there was no addiction tendencies in the family. People are not born dysfunctional, we are raised in dysfunctional surroundings. And as much as we may want to deny it, the air we were raised in at times for many is, toxic air. We all have our tolerance levels and the good thing is when we do realize things are not as they should be, when living in a toxic world and start leading lives in such a way.

 

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I read a lot, always have. Not just the harlequin romance novels, but self help and a lot about the human conditions. Whether I am told my thoughts are wrong or to prove to myself, my thoughts are right, I get myself educated on many topics.

Dysfunctional traits come from a few traits and for those who are not living in the addiction life, it comes from.. fear… guilt and shame. When we don’t seek out the help to heal those 3 things, we live a numb life, in denial… dysfunctional!

One can only hope this post hits home in a positive way, that one person wants to seek out professional help, so they can lead a full functional life. After all, this is it.. there is not other life on earth after this one. It is what it is.. over. Live love and be happy!

Who Fears Who or What?

How many times as a child have we walked home after doing something we know our parents told us not to do and feared the consequences behind the front door of the house?? For me, there was a few times for sure, I can still hear my own thoughts, “Why did I do that? Man, I am in trouble now! Mom’s going to ground me and Dad going to kick my butt! Argh!” as I sweated bullets with every step. Sometimes when I got home, the punishment was not as bad as I thought and sometimes I got an butt spanking that I knew I didn’t want to mess up again. I guess we call that, having a conscience? Is that what is wrong with our young people today and with parents? The children have no fear of consequences and adults/parents have given up? And why is that? is it the parents now fearing the consequences of disciplining their own children and the children feel totally in control, yet they can’t handle the responsibility or have the stamina and mindset to set their own boundaries?

“Trust your instincts, even if they are telling you something that your heart really really does not want to consider. It can save your life.” F.C.

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Who’s Judging Who?

A freind asked me to answer this question – Do you believe that GOD is a judgemental God?

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I am not sure if tonight is the right time to answer that question when recent events in my life has shown me once again, it is NOT God who judges me, but those I have grown close to or people that don’t know me at all, who are judging me.

Then maybe it is the perfect time to answer it.. Because my faith in HIM grows in leaps and bounds, that I wonder sometimes, can it raise me any higher? And yes HE does, without judging me.

Yes, I am here for a reason and been saved by HIM for a reason, yet there are days I don’t understand why and maybe I am not to question it, but go through each day, coping, dealing with and cherishing each moment I am here on this earth.

You know the saying, be careful what you wish for, you might get it? I don’t wish anymore, I pray for what I need. And that is to be understood and to understand, life and all those in my life. I know we’re all products of our environment, yet how toxic we can be when we take all that is bad, all that is a burden and carry it with us into the future, expecting different results, when we are only getting the same results. The weight of judgement and being judged we carry like it is as light as a feather yet weights us down like an anvil.

To judge me or to judge others is only a form of control. Because we want to be right and we are not in doing so. All we are doing is sabotaging our own spirit into a twisted wreck, leading us out of control, which is always the end result of trying to control others.

If God was harsh at his judging, how many of us would be struck down where we stand? Yet we wish the worse on our friends, family and strangers instead of praying for them and letting God have the final judgement, the only judgement.

I don’t know where a lot of my thoughts have derived from, they are just here, for me to see and recall. One of them being that when we pass over, all the pain and judgement we held over others, we will feel every bit of it as we move onto our final resting place, beside God. So that we go to him with pure heart.

But why wait? Would it not be so much easier to take the fear of that pain of our own judgement and do what HE would want us to do? Forgive others, because judgement is only a arm of fear. Life is a lonely life when we live in judgement of others.

So to answer the question, do I believe that God is a judgemental God? Yes and that thought alone makes me want to do better always, for myself, first, then family and friends.