Raising Strong Women


I read this book many moons ago, called.. Yesterday, I Cried.. and another titled.. In The Meantime.. both of them having shared with my daughters. I have always wanted my daughters to realize their own strength and that at some point in their lives they will have to fall back on themselves to get through something or other.
They have grown to be beautiful young mothers, wives, daughters and most of all, beautiful spirits. I told all 3 of my children, if you leave home with two things, let it be good morals and self respect.

A poem by that great author, Iyanla Vanzant, called, Yesterday I Cried, is what I want to share with you today. I have cried myself many a day, for it truly does cleanse the soul. Crying does not make us weak, it gives us strength!
Yesterday, I cried.

I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.
I’m telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I
got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on
the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad
to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored, disrepected, and disconnected
my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others
did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them
away, to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain
old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.
Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don’t know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.
I cried because I had a little boy, and because I was a little girl,
because I was a mommy who didn’t know what to do, and
Because I wanted my daddy to be there for me so badly until
I ached.
Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late. I cired because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew everything I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming,
Yesterday, I cried
with an agenda

Forgiveness & Sacrifice


I see myself as a spiritual being trying to be human and I am sure most of us has read that line some where at some time. I truly believe it. It’s the only explanation for why and how I have been able to tolerate the pain I have in my human life thus far.

Another tern I’ve been thinking of is.. ‘born to die”.. when I read that I think, how can I be born when I was never dead?

“Forgiving is a good thing, forgetting isn’t realistic. No one forgets the lesson or the teacher.” ~ Snowy

On a television show.. Saturday Night Live.. Sinead O’Connor ripped up a picture of Pope John Paul 11 and NBC received 4,484 complaints. But the most severe complaint come from the Vatican, which used its clout to force NBC to edit out the ripping in reruns.

O’Connor has since been ordained as a minister.


The lesson of this story is?.


God’s Revenge

God's Revenge

We hear so much about bullying these days, especially among our children. Which is sad because children are taught. Good or bad.. They are taught.

When one child offends another, a parent of the victim wants revenge.

When a child is bullied, they become depressed, even suicidal and again, our children are not taught revenge. I don’t think we should teach them how to react with revenge. They need to know their worth and that worth is something that is materialized by their loved ones. And they have to learn to recognize that long before bullying takes place. They need to know its okay to tell, relate to an elder they feel confident with, that they are being bullied. And then given the tools on how to deal with demeaning insults and actions.

Even adults can and are bullied, which is also not acceptable.

The greatest tool that can be given to a person who is bullied is, faith. Having a strong faith eases the pain of the bullied. Teaching them that it is definitely not their fault or should they feel shame, all that shame and fault is to be left with the one who demeans and the rest is left in the hands of God…

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
–Romans 12:19

Crossing Over Painlessly!

Crossing Over Painlessly!

I don’t recall where I heard it or read it, but I do believe it.

On our journey to the other side.. I have a hard time using the word, die, because I don’t believe we die.

So, on our journey to the other side as our spirits leave the human form, we will feel all the pain we caused any other spiritual being on this planet.

That being said and I being a person who lives with pain daily, I surely don’t want to be feeling any pain when I start my new journey, where ever that takes me on the other side. So I try my best to treat people with good intention and smile 80% of the time, but no one is perfect. There will be days I stumble and may annoy another person and if they let me know that I have, then I will apologize for it.

This world really needs to start taking things to heart and try to live a healthy life here on earth, enjoy it because this is it, we are not promised any tomorrows..treat eachother with kindness and respect. – Live Love Laugh

I love this song by DC Talk.. enjoy!!

Learning To Dance Alone

Learning To Dance Alone

For us to be totally content in the company of another, we need to be content in our own space. We need to love our self unconditionally. And that is not always easy to do. I found this write up and thought I would share it with you. We all need to be inspired from time to time, even if it is just a reminder of how worthy we are of our own self love, the dance of self-love.. Enjoy!

The need to be loved is a very natural feeling. We all want to feel close to someone, to be in that persons hugs and feel that we are wanted unconditionally. We are spiritual beings needing close loving company. We want someone to be with who will be our companion and friend to share with and create a future with.

If a person is suffering depression or is emotionally unbalanced and single, that person, like people who are in control of their lives, will want to be loved. If ones emotions are uncontrolled they will also like everyone else, want to be close to someone and loved. It is a wonderful comfortable feeling to be encouraged, loved and secure in a good decent relationship.

A person suffering depression and emotional and mental disorders can throw themselves at other people in an often desperate attempt to find that love. Depressed people, or people who have emotional issues still have that empty part in their heart that they want filled, and they have that want to have a physical relationship too, preferably with someone who really cares. They see happy relationships and they want one too.

When a person is not in control of their emotional feelings they can simply want that important emotional attention and the feeling of security.

Lets use a woman as an example to explain this. Now she is single, distressed, up and down with her feelings, wants to be loved and held tight by an able man who will protect her and keep her warm nights. Some man comes along and he shows her lots of attention – this attention is what she wants. She feels that this attention is nice, enjoyable and she wants more. Time alone with him, the dating game, attention directed at only her, the feeling of being sought after etc all feel good and especially to someone who is not in control of their emotions. Maybe they secretly meet and this makes the relationship seem secretive and exciting, so much more fun than what she finds at home.

She also feels that with that attention she may as well give the rest of herself to him because “she knows that it will turn out all right, her heart tells her so” – a troubled confused heart is deceitful and confusing.

She doesn’t want to wait for marriage “because the time isn’t right” and he said that he isn’t ready yet, but she trusts him. Being emotionally confused before she met the man does not help the situation at all. And even if the man is honest or not, the relationship will fail in time because she is going to carry into the relationship big issues, lots of problems, and many mixed up emotional feelings from her past. And the new man will not know how to cope with her strange behaviour’s.

To add to that he will possibly have issues of his own past, and they will come into this new relationship and she will not be able to comfort him or even understand his problems, she has more than enough problems in her own life so she cannot deal with his as well.

She cannot even deal with her own problems, so she cannot deal with his problems. If they had children it would be worse because she cannot cope with her own emotional issues, and life in general by herself, so she will not be able to cope as a successful wife or mother. And when all fails she will blame herself, hating herself because in her eyes she is hopeless and useless (other women can cope but she can’t etc) – she couldn’t be further from the truth. She can be cured, because her issues are spiritual and of the heart and soul. There is hope in God, she needs faith and the courage to follow God and come to grips with her reality and then change it. She needs to stop following the lost.

A person can be like the woman and go from relationship to relationship feeling that she is unloved and wondering why all men are losers and won’t love her as she feels that they should. She will have abortions, take all sorts of chemical medications and lots of unhappy times. She will wonder what life is all about and even possibly in deep frustration try to take her own life – what is there to live for when everything always goes wrong and there seems to be no hope. She is putting her hopes on society and relationships with men (and maybe even relationships with women), hoping that one day that they would save her, and they can’t. That is so frustrating for people in this situation, it always looks like there is no way out.

The truth is that she needs God involved, and she needs the right man. God will lead the way, He will give her what she needs to be cured, and this will stop the cycle of non-stop relationships, tears, and misery. We humans are creatures of habit so they say, and once we get into habits, bad or good, we become stuck in that cycle and often it can be a big effort to get out of it. For this lady it is time for all things to become new, and for her to get on that narrow path with Christ and change her life forever, then hope becomes a reality and a secure future.

There is always a way out. That is why we are to Hope in God. God will show us the way to a cure and emotional balance, love and freedom.

All the best from James M Sandbrook.

Come Here! Go Away!

Sometimes we know when we are dealing with someone who has a narcissistic personality, other times we don’t. For those who have worked in the counselling field, it is not long before one sees all the symptoms of such a person and will deal with them accordingly.It is a mental illness, but the person inflicted can do alot of damage to those around them before a diagnoses and treatment is implied. I went online and got the symptoms of a person who has a narcissistic personality. The following comes from the Mayo Clinic.
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
Believing that you’re better than others
Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
Exaggerating your achievements or talents
Expecting constant praise and admiration
Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
Being jealous of others
Believing that others are jealous of you
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Setting unrealistic goals
Being easily hurt and rejected
Having a fragile self-esteem
Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it’s not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don’t value themselves more than they value others.

When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don’t receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.

But underneath all this behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.