Back Where I Belong

Back Where I Belong

Here it comes again, that old yet new feeling of self love. A reminder once in a while to waken my inner thoughts of how and why I am where I am today. A journey that will never end. The spiritual self is eternal, forever learning, feeling and loving.

I read a quote…

“The shift from separation to intimacy in relationships happens the moment you shift your attention from the story and opinions, back to how you feel in your body, and then communicate exactly that.”

So, so true, another level of spirituality, when in the company of one’s soul mate. And it will be a rebirth of old lessons, new again. Those lessons of how loving yourself unconditionally will bring you true happiness and acceptance, not from anyone else, but of thy self. No one can make us feel unloved, no one can take our self love away from us. What happens is we give bits of it away and to fill that partial emptiness, is just a matter of assuring ourselves that we are worth the intimate self love. Any person who loves us unconditional will and can rise above the body and connect with us spiritually to make that joining all that it is meant to be.

We all seek that ultimate high…..

“The sacred is discovered in what moves and touches us, in what makes us tremble.” – Sam Keen

What Is This Karma You Speak Of?

What Is This Karma You Speak Of?


How many times have we heard someone say or have said ourselves…

I would be so happy if I….had more money

..had that piece of pizza. (any foods)

..had a partner who gave me more sex

..had a better job to get that bigger truck

…had someone doing this work for me.

Many people do achieve these wants in their lives, if not by inheritance, then by hard work, but yet, they do not have an inner peace or can be clearly seen by others, just not happy. Most of the time we do not understand that, we ask, we question,

“why are you so sad? You have everything a person could want, money, stature, the big home and everything that shows power, even the boss of your own company”

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having it all, as long as a person knows how to give back to a giving world. There has to be a balance with everything in our lives or to some degree a part of our lives will suffer. When we give, we get in return, this is the way of the universe. Over time it is showing how we as humans can keep taking, not giving and it shows in the world around us in so many ways, a few being, pollution of the earth and water, extinct animals, murder and suicide.

There is a word out there that we also hear a lot.. KARMA

.. What is karma?

The total effect of a person’s actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person’s existence, regarded as determining the person’s destiny.

In other words, we reap what we sow, you get what you give.. And so on.

Then is it as simple as reverting bad karma into good karma, so that we find some peace and happiness in our lives? For some it can be easy, for others it is very hard and takes its toll on a persons mind, body and spirit. There is a great resistance from the mind and body in doing an action which is contrary to the nature of the person. It takes time and patience, happiness/inner peace does not happen over night. The way a person lived for so many years is embedded into the mind and bodies and we have to know that every action against the nature created a reaction in our being which makes it extremely difficult to sustain such actions for long. So that is where the term, baby steps, comes into play..

I know from personal experience that once I started practicing GOOD KARMA, there was a change in my life and that change was even greater when I had a devotion, that devotion being to my Higher Power/God. I had to feel good about my devotion and not do it to please anyone else in my life, but really went deep within myself, pulled out all that was ailing me, handed it off to my Higher Power so I could begin to lead a life, a giving life no matter where I would end up on the ladder, rich or poor, to give because I felt good to give and yet not expect anything in return. I see myself as spiritual, which is a way of life, not a religion. I am not by a long shot a rich person with millions in the bank but I know I am rich/blessed with so many great friends who tell me that I do inspire them at some point in their lives and the thanks I get is so rewarding, at times overwhelming.


Start practicing the good karma and some of those are…

Charity: It is opposite to accumulation of wealth which is prohibited

Fasting: It is opposite of gluttony or excess eating

Celibacy: It is opposite of sexual indulgence

Prayer: It is opposite of seeking the material wealth

Pilgrimage: It is opposite of worldly pursuits for material gain

Service: It is opposite to the exercise of power

Moderation! Sharing! Giving! Unconditional!


So if you are looking for some good karma in your life, for better things to begin happening, start giving what you can to this world, no one can ask for more than you can give, just do your best.. Start thanking in prayer to the Higher Power/God and not be asking every time you pray to him, just be thankful for what you have and ask for guidance, you will be answered, I guarantee it.
When I think of good karma.. I think of Marcus..
~This blog I dedicate to my nephew, Marcus, an inspiration.~

Roses Along My Path

Roses Along My Path

Reaching Out We wonder sometimes why bad things happen to us, but when bad things are happening a lot in our lives, we end up in a place of numbing darkness. We don’t see no way out, because there is no light and sometimes we get so numb with regards to feelings, we can not even cry anymore.. It is when anyone gets to that point, there has to be intervention, someone to help..

But if we find ourselves still able to cry, that is a good thing, we are still in the process of some feeling, needing soul cleansing and hopefully someone to listen to us, someone that can give us good advice, but the most important thing is..

To take that advice! Someone who truly cares about the mental human condition will honestly give good advice and even tools to help you get back on track. There are a lot of professionals out there, good ones, who do that, not just because it is a job, but because they are people helpers from the heart, meaning they want to see you in a better place, they are genuinely concerned about your well being.

If a person wants to begin on a road to a better life, they have to want to , no one can force another person to do anything, we have to honestly admit we are in need of change and be willing to make those changes.

A good way to start moving ahead is.. Meditate.. Take time to focus, appreciate and regain your faith in something greater than ourselves will be there every step of the way..

And how is that possible?.

Because to some degree we are all sceptics, we doubt and its a lot of times that doubt in people, doubt in the world and even doubt in ourselves that got us to the point of desperation in the first place..

So how can you be sure there is something greater, after you pray?. There will not be a voice answering you in the way you think, you are answered through the actions of people around you, people that truly care about you, certain friends and family.

And although it may be the hardest thing you will ever do, you must reach out to that hand which has been extended to you, you must accept the help. You are not alone and no one has to go through life alone, especially when we are at the depths of despair..

Think of this.. When we are going through great times in our lives, an accomplishment of some kind, something we are proud of, we want to go to the highest mountain, scream it out and let the world know, we want to call our friends and family to let them in on the good news..

Then why are we so hesitant about calling those same family and friends when we are low in life, sad for whatever reason? Why don’t we want to give them the chance to help us carry our burden at the time? And if we did, the load would be so much lighter if we just shared it.

Yes, there is and always will be people of negativity and those who get some kind of high out of sabotaging other peoples happiness, you will eventually learn who those people are and be able to pick them out of a crowd of a 100 friends. You have every right to avoid them, to be selfish and focus on those that do want to help, that do not ask for anything in return but one thing..

Your wellness and happiness.

So if it is time for you to get on the right path of life, reach out, ask for help, listen to good advice, get the right reading material and most of all.. Have FAITH that HE will be by your side all the way.

Emotional Management

With the acquisition of language, a vast range of perception is disregarded. A child soon comes to believe that if that there is no word for something it does not exist. Sensory input that is not reinforced is deemphasized, until eventually
the child accepts the cultural viewpoint, with all of its biases and underlying assumptions. In the process something valuable is lost. -Ken Carey


And the above it so true.. To 4 ½ out of 5 people walk this earth, existing! Not living!.. To live for all it’s worth, we need to feel.. And.. Either we were not taught about feelings and how to manage them in a good way or we chose not to feel… and how sad is that.. To feel does not only mean.. how WE feel, but how OTHERS feel.. How often do we take into consideration, other peoples feelings before we speak or take action on a daily basis?

In one month I can tell you of 10 times that I have been witnessed to people who have not taken, feelings, into play when interacting with others and even themselves and that is so sad to me

We need to get in touch with our own inner selves on a higher level. And it is not easy to do, it is a lot of work. I know that, because I have done it and yes there are days where I even slip.. I am far from perfect but that does not mean I won’t stay on a positive path. I have to, want to keep my head above water with respect.

There is so much info out there, whether online or in books at the library and even a friend like me, who is willing to go into details with my own transformation, .. I am forever changing and growing.


My spirituality was mocked once by a person whom I thought could and would understand the change that had overcome me a few years back, which saddened me. Yet I know if I had not grown spiritually, I would of hidden away after her remarks and not been so spiritually radiant as I had become, because I believe in who I am, I believe in the greater good and I will continue to be a positive force till the day I leave this earth and all that is left behind is my spirit, so strong, that those whom lives I did touch will and can carry on in a positive manner, with a feeling of wholeness.  To try to  live life with no regrets and appreciating those that love us by loving them back unconditionally.

It is said there are signs of a spiritual awakening and I can honestly say I have seen/felt and believe there is. Here is just a few, the ones I have experienced so far.

Changing sleep patterns, restlessness, waking 2 or 3 times a night.

Sudden waves of emotion, at times an emotional rollercoaster.

Vivid dreams that carry messages and meaning.

Creative outbursts, such as my writing, at times at an overwhelming rate.

A sense that time is accelerating, that I must not waste time here on earth.

Feeling at times that I am different somehow, with new skills.

‘Teachers’ appear with perfect timing to help me on my spiritual journey.

Seeing a message in everything that happens to me, whether it be good or bad.

Becoming more tuned to seasons, moon phases and other cycles.

Living with a purpose and feeling like I am doing the right thing, right now, without fear of judgement.

One of my own quotes.. a favorite… “I am nothing to fear, yet fearless.”

“If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself.” – Native Quote

The Red Road Is Neverending

The Red Road Is Neverending~This Blog Is In Memory of My Father ~

“Religion is belief in someone else’s experience. Spirituality is having your own experience” – Deepak Chopra

Vine Deloria, Jr. wrote:
“The first and great difference between primitive religious thought and the world religions … is that primitive peoples maintain an air of mystery through their bond with nature; the world religions sever the relationship and attempt to establish a new, more comprehensible one.”

My father wrote me a letter in December of 1992, which I still read on occasion and it does still bring a tear to my eye and an ache in my heart. I will share a small part of that letter, which has a big meaning..

“The first mistake this old Indian made, I should say second, I think being an Indian was the first. I love you and I hope you never forget or regret that. I realize words never did flow too freely, about love, around the house and that was my fault”

Each time I read this I also feel my maternal instinct wants to take over and overwhelm the person(s) who belittled my father when he was young, for being who he was born to be, a man, a native man, with pride! And to be stripped of that pride at such a young age is the purest of abuse that can done to a child.

When we take the time to understand who a person is, where they were raised, how they were raised, only then will be truly understand why they do the things they do.

At any time in our lives when we see a person’s transformation for the better, we need to give thanks and then look to the reasons that brought on this transformation and how it works.

It is spiritual! From what I have lived, from what I have learnt on my path of life, I believe in the fact that the red road is never ending, because it is one of constant learning and that path will continue on into eternity.

I will take to heart my father’s words from that letter and allow the words to flow freely, about love, in my world, for as long as I am alive and once in the company of my Higher Power when I cross over! That is my vow to my father, which I made, to him on his death bed, when his human heart had no more beat, I layed my hand atop his chest, leaned in and whispered in his ear my love devotion, one of forgiveness and admiration.

I knew it was time to rise above the pain of all that before me and my job at that time allowed me to do that, aided me in doing that. I took the steps, walked the 12 steps, of understanding, a person in a spiritual world of pain and how to heal that pain. I said then and I will say now, everyone, every adult, young and old could benefit by walking the 12 steps, ever race, color ,religion, rich and poor, can only benefit from walking in the shoes, which at first they may think is someone else’s shoes, but ends up being their own, all along..

These 12 Steps are a program of recovery from addictions, or from our reactions to life’s everyday stressors and circumstances. They are a “Design for Living”, which if applied will allow us to become who we truly are. The steps by their nature are very humbling and humility is character building.

Adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous

1) We admitted we were powerless over people, places, things and situations and that our lives had become unmanageable.
2) Came to believe that a power greater then ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3) Made a decision to turn our lives and our will over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5) Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6) Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7) Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8) Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9) Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would harm them or others.
10) Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11) Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12) Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

“Rest In Peace Father.. The words, I LOVE YOU, fall freely from my lips in your memory” – Cynthia