Free To Believe

Judgement is alive and well in the world today. No matter what you practice, whether you are among a minority or majority, if the masses or powers that be were taught at a young age something is not right, they truly believe it is not.

It takes years to empty ones head of old school thinking/methods/brainwashing, when their heart and soul believes in something else. Who is to say what is right or wrong?

Living in small town Canada, this is right in my face, truth. Being raised Catholic, I lived in a catholic religion world. I was afraid of “God”, I was afraid of the priest, I was afraid of talking out loud within the 4 walls of the church. I was so afraid to sin! I was afraid to eat before church on Sunday because I was told, you praise “God” on an empty stomach. Did “God” like the sounds of rumbling stomachs, as His followers knelt before the priest in the church on Sunday morning? As a young girl, these are the thoughts that would float through my little brain, as I stood, knelt and sat at my pew beside my elders. I couldn’t see anything from my pew, being as short as I was, as I am, but I could hear the rumbling stomachs, as well as the off key congregation singing , The Old Wooden Cross and smell the bad morning breaths hovering over my head. Funny thing is, with regards to the wooden cross, just a couple years ago, when I posted in my social media, a picture of Jesus, resembling, Carey Price, my Habs goalie with the slogan, “God Bless Jesus Price”, one of my followers, a practising Catholic was so insulted that I did and he made comment to just how insulted he was, that another follower responded to him,

“Put down the cross, we need the wood!”

The practising Catholic was so angry and the gent on a spiritual journey wasn’t. Why?And that gent was a believer in The Creator, ¬†on his journey of recovery, so it made me begin thinking more of this whole religion thing. Where was it leading me? \how and what roll was it playing in my life, positive, negative or at all?

What or who could I relate to, as an adult, free to pick my leader. lol And where do I want to be lead to? This is where my native culture began to play a greater part in my life and a pagan world I had began following years prior but let the teachings fall to the wayside. So I picked up where I left off.

Oh what a judgemental world we live in and how real that is when you follow a path of Wicca beliefs, paganism and the church of nature. I still have a long way to go, but what a beautiful inner peace I have gained. I don’t question my being, like I did for so long. I am perfect, just the way I am and so are you!

Believe in what you want, I won’t judge you or force upon you my beliefs, I ask for the same in return. There is the biggest challenge for us all. ūüėČ

awqer

Going Where My Spirit Guides Me

Jesus was an enabler, according to all I have read since a child and seen in movies even as an adult. To die for His children who are evidently breaking every law in the book of life, every commandment that he wrote and Moses brought down off the mountain engraved in stone. Don’t you think, seriously, every man, woman and or child should have been punished for their wrong doing? When I come across graphics, readings that say, Jesus did not solely die on the cross, he died for me, Every drop of His blood was shed for me, every step, every humiliation, every strike, every whip, every mocking, every piercing nail, I was on his mind. So now I am to walk a guilty¬†road, the rest of my life? Is that not what we call a, martyrdom??,¬† a display of feigned or exaggerated suffering to obtain sympathy or admiration. Of course I cry at the movies, showing Jesus whipped, I am a woman with a compassionate heart, then when the dark clouds develop over head, and God his father is about to strike down man for hurting his son and Jesus says, forgive them father..¬† if I was his mother or father and seen my son being tortured and had to the power to strike down every living soul that hurt my child, don’t you¬†think I would?¬† I would, show me the red button!!! And if I was Mary, Mother of Jesus,¬† you don’t think I would have said over my tears, that I was crying at my sons feet, bleeding, nailed to the cross, by man.. have said to Jesus father, God, What the is wrong with you?? You let these men torture and kill our son??? What are you trying to prove and to who are you trying to prove what to??? Does that make God, a narcissist?? Which is a some one who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish. I am starting to believe the dysfunctional family was born and raised from the very beginning of time. The “D” family did not just develop over night. And now today, we have sociopaths,¬† psychopaths, murderers and thieves running around in such great numbers and we wonder why? Because at the cost of our own lives, we who were raised Christian, were taught, we need to forgive always and if it’s true to let the punishment fit the crime, why are those that sexual abuse children still living in our neighborhoods? Or those that rape and dismember women, still alive to pay a penalty? There is truly something wrong with this world today. Too many men/countries/groups, using religion as a reason to kill and degrade other people.
I am woman, a mother, a caregiver, a lioness.. my first impulse will always be to love and protect my children, from all predators in all forms, of any religion, sex, race, color or breed. And that includes wanting to protect your children as well.
If the bible is true, I think, Mary, should have, stood up to ALL men, even the father of her child who hurt him.. maternal mothers, all mothers have the natural-born instinct to do just that. Maybe then… if Mary would have died for her son… I would of gave the bible a 2nd chance, a 2nd glance or if Jesus’s father, God, would of died in battle for his son’s life, I would have believed what I was reading. But logic tells me, what happened back in the day, the years that Jesus was alive and well, up to the day he died on the cross, was all for what?.. for me?.. Sorry, I can’t believe that. I am not going to feel guilty for what man has done, what, “God” has done in his own name. When a woman walks into a catholic church asking for help, because her husband beats her and her children, and a priest says, “You go home, be a good wife, take care of those children.”.. I can’t believe in the Christian religion.

pagan1
I have begun more and more to lean towards and liking the beliefs and life style of the, Wiccan. Where I do not have a devotion to a deity, which means I find it so easy to not acknowledge the “God” of Christianity and Judaism and Islam, yet I am NOT hostile to any religion. For myself, I find the above 3 religions do promote a great amount of hostility towards others and there is so much ego present in the name of all 3.
I am going to continue to practice the state of being Wiccan spiritual and even with the little I have already learnt, I find a greater peace, inner peace, than I ever did in any church man-made, where I felt nothing but fear and guilt. I can not follow a religion or church that harbors those that sexual abuse children. And to this day, they still do.
Many years ago, I questioned how the biggest child abuser can still show his face in church, how another man, we all knew, that steals from the poor is able to attend church. I was told by an elder of that church.. “come sit in the front pew with the rest of the hypocrites.”.. Well sorry, I won’t and can’t and I am always vocal about that. And usually end up banging heads over it, because I am told to be quiet. Sorry, I can’t be quiet about protecting the innocent. And my beliefs grow strong and stronger, ever since I know what my father went through as a child.. he being a residential school survivor.
This is my choice and as much as you may not understand, without learning, about being a Wicca follower and leading a spiritual life, I too, will never understand why so many lead a life under a corrupt religious blanket, but I will still respect others and expect respect in return.
Being spiritual, I will NOT  bow or bend our knees to our gods, instead I open my arms, embracing them.

We do not beg them to do things for us, instead, we ask to be empowered and to assist us, so that we may do those things ourselves. The earth, the forest is our temple, and to the forest, under the stars is where we go to find our souls. Nature is my church. This is why I feel at calm by the water, walking a forest path, hearing births chirping in the morning. My belief is in the Creators, which is a God and a Goddess.
I am not going to teach anyone at this point, because I am still learning, so a thousand questions I can not answer. We all have our own journey while on this earth, we were born innocent of everything, and taught so much, good and bad. As adults we can make our own choices, I have made mine and continue to learn about this belief in something greater than myself and the great part is, again.. I have no fear on this path, I am gaining an inner peace beyond compare.
My life, my choice.. I will always seek serenity and love the serenity prayer, I will always pray, I just don’t say to which God or Goddess at that moment… equality is not just a word, it is an action, as is respect of this world, this earth as a whole..
I do hope you have inner peace with where you are in your life.. BLESSED BE!!

pagan prayer