Spring Changes!

 

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It never fails and I don’t question it, but I always get my answers. The answers are not written anywhere to my questions and I never know where or when I will find my them. But I am so sure that my questions are heard and always answered, that I can and will raise my hand over my heart and in my Mother’s memory say, that God comes through each and every time. I was one of those people that would cry in my pillow and ask why? Why? Why?!. Now I just pray giving thanks for what I have, who I have in my life and ask for healing with what ever ails me, whether it be physical, mental or spiritual. Once I learnt how to shake off the past, pull away from people who live a life of drama or anger, once I learnt that being alone does not mean I am lonely. That specific part I learnt 6 years ago for which I am so glad about. Because for any great changes to occur in my life, I had to open the door for goodness to enter and we learn to do that by being quiet, to let all that is positive enter our being.

Spring is here! What is spring?

Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.–Lewis Grizzard

It has been a long cold winter here in northern Ontario, which only makes us appreciate this season we call spring, even more. So what better time to waken up our own senses and have a new beginning with how we treat ourselves, again, mentally, physically and emotionally. I did start that change over a month ago with all the extra praying I did, anytime I got a chance to sit quietly, I would give thanks to God and recently my concerns regarding my own well being are slowly being answered.

Physically, I know I will live with my pain daily, but I have learnt how to manage that. Emotionally, I find if I am happy, the rest of my world around me is happy. Mentally, I go in search of the tools needed to deal with things I don’t understand at times. And that is something that will occur for the rest of our days on this earth, changes that we don’t understand.

Dad told me once, don’t try to make several changes in your life at the same time. You’re better off to give one thing your full attention, so that you don’t fail, then you carry on to the next challenge. So if you want to change your body in any way, whether it be toning it, losing weight or feeding it differently or quitting smoking or getting help with another addiction, get the help you need for that, concentrate on that. Only you as an individual can make those changes or want those changes in your life. We can’t do it for other people, because then if we fail, we have someone to blame, but when we do it for number one, it is yourself you have to look into the mirror on a daily basis, it is that person in the mirror that you are failing, not any one else.

Spiritually, there is so much material out there to assist us on how to come to a better place with regards. It is hard keeping sane in this fast paced world at times, so having faith in something greater than ourselves can and will ease our minds.

I have even learnt how to breath different. Meaning, I have learnt how to give oxygen to the vital organs in my body and that can be done when meditating or just when sitting in your office or in front of the television in the evening. When you inhale, inhale so that your abdomen expands, not your chest, then hold it for a  few seconds, then exhale. Do that a few times a day and after a while you do it without reminding yourself to do it. That is how you get oxygen to your organs, such as liver and the rest below your chest bone. Or do it, when you’re standing waiting for the street light to turn green, on your walk and get some fresh air deep in your body.

Subtle changes such as above are the beginning to a person wanting to do more for themselves. I am looking forward to the nicer weather, so I can take 2 walks a day without freezing my hiney. If you don’t take time to make a few positive changes in your life, you will be hitting brick walls of negativity for sure.

So remember..  Have faith.. Breath.. And surround yourself with positives.

Welcome spring!!!

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Don’t Be Afraid!

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Change:to transform or convert

So many are afraid of change and I don’t think it should be something feared. We do fear what we don’t understand, that is a natural human trait. But we can ‘change ‘ that. Even aging is a change and that is happening daily, something we will not be able to halt. Yes, even death is a change. So don’t try to stop it, embrace it. As we age, there is so many that don’t like to think they are getting old and wish they could stay young, they try so hard to stay young in looks, cause they don’t like the change they see in the mirror. In their quest to halt the change of aging, they get plastic surgery, that sports car, but they are still changing. It is following close, we are not going to run from it. We get slower in motion, we get a few more wrinkles, our diets need to change, our hair greys. Even I wish I could have a few years back sometimes, but all my years past were steps to my change and I like where I am right here, right now. I cant fix the past , yes I can cry over it, but it won’t change who I am today. I can worry about the future, but that won’t change anything, cause whether I like it or not, however my future plays out, is how it is suppose to. All I can do is make the right changes to be here and see what my future holds and deal with it as it approaches.

However, there with every change in my life I know God will be beside me and HE will be holding my hand through it all. I do not fear change!

Black Blue & Misread All Over

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The old quote

… no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.. And a song also. A line so true yet people still have a hard time even today to believe certain things, unless they can see it with their own eyes. And sometimes not believing a person or understand the signs may have a really bad outcome, death. There are times when someone can hide what they don’t want to share so well and leaves the other person questioning, how can they have missed the signs?

— Below is From helpguide.org.

Recognizing abuse is the first step to getting help

Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to violence. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. Emotionally abusive relationships can destroy your self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression, and make you feel helpless and alone. No one should have to endure this kind of pain—and your first step to breaking free is recognizing that your situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the abusive situation, then you can get the help you need.

Signs of an abusive relationship

There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.

Signs He is an abuser

Does your partner:

humiliate or yell at you?

avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

criticize you and put you down?

feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?

treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?

believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?

ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?

wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?

blame you for their own abusive behavior?

feel emotionally numb or helpless?

see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

act excessively jealous and possessive?

hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?

control where you go or what you do?

threaten to take your children away or harm them?

keep you from seeing your friends or family?

threaten to commit suicide If you leave?

limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

force you to have sex?

limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

destroy your belongings?

constantly check up on you?

Threats– Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.

Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don’t obey, there will be violent consequences.

Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.

Why someone who is being abused may stay behind the closed door.

The Abuse is Popular:

If the abuser is popular, it can be hard for a person to tell their friends for fear that no one will believe them or that everyone will take the abuser’s side.

If you have friends or family members who are in unhealthy or abusive relationships, the most important thing you can do is be supportive and listen to them. Please don’t judge! Understand that leaving an unhealthy or abusive relationship is never easy.

Stronger Relationships

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If I have an itch I scratch it

If I have a thought, I express it.

That is just the way I am.

And now turning 53 years young on March 6th, I am thinking of what hasn’t changed in my life and what has changed. Whether for the better or the worse. I truly believe my relationships have changed and I am going to say for the better. My relationships with man woman and or child. And it is not because they have changed, it is because I have. When it comes to emotional relationships, I do tend to want what I put in, back from the other person, mainly, respect. And I do get it back 99% of the time. When I don’t, then I back away from the relationship, blood related or not. Some times 2 people are just not on the same page in life. You can’t fit a square peg into a round hole. I think most relationships go bad, end bad, because there is all this forcing of trying to make them work. One or the other is ramming that square peg and it is just not going in, leaving one or both hurt, angry and resentful.

I have faith that if a relationship is right for both, not perfect, but truly functional, two people can agree to disagree with ease and not hold grudges.

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I have come to realize that no matter how much times have changed, no matter how strong and independent a woman may become over the years., with education, a career and meeting all the expectations she sets on herself, she still wants a man who is stronger. Which can be hard at times because the woman has trained herself to be her own leader, self-sufficient that on the days when she just wishes for that strong man, it is still hard for her to give into that. It is no secret that to be able to submit to someone, you have to respect them, trust them, allow them to take the reins maybe 90% of the time.

I really think in the past 50 years women have climbed the ladder of life, we have proven ourselves 10 fold and not that we should have had anything to prove to anyone else than ourselves, but we did it, we know we can do it, we know we can live a life or security by ourselves and raise children if it came down to that. However we are not born to be alone. We all need partners or there will forever be an empty space in our hearts. Many will argue that point with me, and I will gladly take on debate with regards.

So next, what role does a man play in a strong woman’s life? He was born to be a leader, a care taker naturally and do a degree over those 50 years, they have been stripped of certain duties and have become more of the submissive part, accepting the female for the strong being she is in all aspects of their life. Yet at the end of the day, both are still sitting on the edge of the chairs, sensing something is just not right.

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I am not saying men are correct or the woman is correct. I just believe we all have roles to play and when we take someone’s authority away, their sense of responsibility fades away also. And then when a woman is looking for that, strong partner, he is not there, because so much of his authority was set on her shoulders and then she gets upset because he is not acting responsible in the relationship. And that is something that can not be denied. I can’t count how many times we women complain about what our partners don’t do in the relationship and what they do that just irks us to no end. We complain over and over.

Then I see those relationships, where the woman does work out of the home, the man works out of the home, but once she is done her 8 hours at work, she can come home and know that her partner will take on his authority roll to rule the roost, whether it be with the children, sons and daughters, both needing to see the strength of their father for the life they will lead when they leave home. So the son knows how to be responsible, how to treat any female in his life and the daughter sees how she should be treated by any male that may come into her life, respectful and made to feel like a queen, leading her to treat her partner like a king.

As for my single friends and myself being single, I have learnt to seek a man, who, has grown into the image of my Higher Power/God at this age. I say that because I know that God will not judge me, will accept me for who I am , for all my shortcomings, for just being me! I am not perfect, no man is perfect, but the love we share together can be perfect, when we learn to let down the walls that we built and just love.

I posted a graphic sometime ago and it said..

I will dance with God and he will let the perfect man for me cut in.

Sad But True!! Liar Liar! Pants On Fire!

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A dishonest person will clear their throat a lot, breath faster, have decreased blinking of the eyes, look away from the person they are talking to, change the subject, get defensive quickly, they add un necessary statements when answering your question..

Most of us, can notice changes in another person when they are lying. But what should we do with a relationship where a person is steadily lying? Detach. Simple. Because to be able to live life on a happy note, respect, empathy and honesty are the 3 essentials. We don’t have to have a life time relationship with everyone that enters our lives. It’s okay to say NO, to people and things that bring us more hurt than happiness. Our intuition with regards is a inner radar that most of us don’t listen to, often enough.

A person that lies a lot are usually people who can’t handle the truth, which is usually about themselves and their lives. A liar is not necessarily a bad person, they are just someone who is having a hard time with life and until they get the help they need, they will continue to make up life. Sad but true

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SAD BUT TRUE! By Metallica

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Someone Saved A Life Tonight

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At the time, when we are waking which seems like hell, trudging through life, our feet feeling like they are in cement and then another cement block across our shoulders… a binding around our chest, squeezing the life out of us, we are smothering. And the only time we feel good is by venting pain on to other people, hurting and insulting them, only to have them come back at us, causing us more pain and shame. Or drowning our sorrows in a bottle of booze, injected dope into our veins, to numb our brains of yesterdays, today’s and any tomorrows.

Wait! Actually it is or was a blessing!. Yes a blessing, because when we are ready to hand over our troubles to God, admitting we have no more strength to carry our own burdens, put our hearts into the hands of a loving and compassionate God and trust that he will help us to stand straight, but it don’t stop there. The healing that is about to take place in our lives, will be a lesson to teach others, to help others who are also ready to commit to a life of happiness.

Life is our University, our schooling and there is a purpose for where we are at any given time in our lives.

When we stumble upon a another person who just seems to be too darn happy and has all the wisdom we are in search of, the right answers on how to deal with what we are going through, it is because they were where we are at this exact moment.

You just may have saved a life.

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I Am Not Impressed

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This is how I do it! Or how it works for me, my thoughts come in waves, at any time, any where and I like it best when it comes in waves close to my computer, so I can get the thoughts down before I forget them.
This morning I was blow drying my hair. My hair drying being rather loud, blocking out any other sound but the ramblings in my mind. This morning a conversation I had with a great friend come to mind, I guess it could be about, my expectations, of myself and then of others. I realized having expectations of other people can only leave disappointment most of the time. So I concentrate on my self expectations and disciplines.
I am one person on this planet, for every 10 people that know me, there is a few million who don’t. Which is fine by me because I like to concentrate on one person at a time at any given time. And to that person I will give priority. And I have also come to realize that there is only one that I do try to impress with my actions, with my thoughts, with how I live my life on any given day.. God..with HIM being the reason I am the way I am, I think any one else in my life has and will always benefit.
HE don’t care what my body looks like, what the color of my skin is, who is my favourite movie star or what political party I follow.. None to be honest. J All he cares about is if I am spreading love and inspiration to those around me. I think I do and on the days I feel like I don’t, some one I know, comes out of the woodwork with a short message to say I have. That I know is God , letting me know, he approves of how I am living my life.
I try to imagine my days without my FAITH, especially my painful days with ankylosing spondylitis. I know they would be unbearable and instead of believing HE will ease my pain and burden, I would fall and want to give up. I can not spend my days trying to impress anyone in my life. This is me, myself and I.
I come across a friends blog, Chris Martin and want to share with you, just a small part of it, where he talks about Jesus’s cares. Well what he thinks HE cares about and I will agree with him.

http://chrismartinwrites.com/2014/02/05/jesus-doesnt-care-about-your-politics/

“The fate of all mankind was precariously hanging in the balance, and one perfect human decided it was worth everything to become love, and make the ultimate sacrifice. He didn’t shed His blood so we can protest same sex marriage. He didn’t offer Himself as a living sacrifice so we can debate whether or not there will be a tribulation. He certainly didn’t sweat drops of blood in the garden to give us an opportunity to judge people and condemn them when they fail. He died for us, so we can live for Him.
Live for Him? What exactly would that look like? It means dying to everything we want, and following Him in all that we do. NO MATTER WHAT THE COST. We can’t prioritize our desires over what Christ wants for our life. The scars he obtained on that dark day, when God turned His back, give Him the right to request our complete surrender. We argue and debate over things like taxes, sports, and religion, but are we willing to die for them?
Jesus surrendered His own wants and desires in order to fulfill the plan of God. And He did it all while envisioning His own death. What does Jesus care about? He doesn’t care about our politics, or how many different languages sang America the Beautiful in the Super Bowl commercial.
He cares about our eternal destination.”

………what are your cares and who you trying to impress?……….
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