My last job, which I loved was working in the addictions field. Not only did the addicts learn how to start a new life, I learned about starting over for myself. We live in a world of addicts and addictions. We can be addicted to drugs and alcohol or we can be dependent on an addict and their addiction, which makes us co-dependent. When we fill out forms during income tax time, we are asked, how many dependents? And we are given bonus money to claim for each person dependent on us. We were all children at one time in our lives, we were all dependent on someone at that time, our parents. And not just for a roof over our heads and food in our bellies, but we’re dependent on parents for love. As babies and into adult hood we are dependent on our parents touch, which aids in our ability to grow. And the ability of touch to make us grow, does not stop at any age. It is sad that over the years, we have come to believe that being dependent on someone is a bad thing, especially when we reach our adult years. To the point that we see it as a weakness. Then later on in our adult relationships, with husbands, wives, couples in general, we are wondering why our relationships are falling apart. Because we have lost the ability to depend on someone else for support and that magical term, unconditional love.
Being single for years now, each relationship I have or try to have, I make sure I state that I am a touchy feely type person and the man I am trying to connect with, says he likes that. But that does not mean, just the touch of skin, it goes further than that. I want to connect on many levels with a mate, from the inside out and I want my partner to be just as vulnerable when it comes to connecting from the inside out.
At my age now, I do have the patience to wait for a man to catch up to me when it comes to being touchy feely, because in learning to unlearn that it is okay to be dependent on the opposite sex when comes to feeling secure and wanted, we are building a great relationship. I want to respond to my partners call, I want him to know he is cherished for depending on me, for hugs, a shoulder to cry on and to have my partner do the same for me, without making me feel like I am weak for doing so, or for me not to make him feel weak for doing so, either.
As individuals we don’t know everything, so seeking out answers is and shows a persons willingness to become a better person. A few years back I read an article, that said so much to me and helped me regain some dependency back, first with my self, then with how I reacted to the world around me, specifically in any close relationship, but I will admit, it is hard to find someone who does not see my being dependent on them as a weakness, but a greater strength, that would tie any relationship bond, tighter and closer.
Enjoy the read at this link and learn from it.. things can only get better when we are touchy feely.