Learning To Dance Alone

Learning To Dance Alone

For us to be totally content in the company of another, we need to be content in our own space. We need to love our self unconditionally. And that is not always easy to do. I found this write up and thought I would share it with you. We all need to be inspired from time to time, even if it is just a reminder of how worthy we are of our own self love, the dance of self-love.. Enjoy!

The need to be loved is a very natural feeling. We all want to feel close to someone, to be in that persons hugs and feel that we are wanted unconditionally. We are spiritual beings needing close loving company. We want someone to be with who will be our companion and friend to share with and create a future with.

If a person is suffering depression or is emotionally unbalanced and single, that person, like people who are in control of their lives, will want to be loved. If ones emotions are uncontrolled they will also like everyone else, want to be close to someone and loved. It is a wonderful comfortable feeling to be encouraged, loved and secure in a good decent relationship.

A person suffering depression and emotional and mental disorders can throw themselves at other people in an often desperate attempt to find that love. Depressed people, or people who have emotional issues still have that empty part in their heart that they want filled, and they have that want to have a physical relationship too, preferably with someone who really cares. They see happy relationships and they want one too.

When a person is not in control of their emotional feelings they can simply want that important emotional attention and the feeling of security.

Lets use a woman as an example to explain this. Now she is single, distressed, up and down with her feelings, wants to be loved and held tight by an able man who will protect her and keep her warm nights. Some man comes along and he shows her lots of attention – this attention is what she wants. She feels that this attention is nice, enjoyable and she wants more. Time alone with him, the dating game, attention directed at only her, the feeling of being sought after etc all feel good and especially to someone who is not in control of their emotions. Maybe they secretly meet and this makes the relationship seem secretive and exciting, so much more fun than what she finds at home.

She also feels that with that attention she may as well give the rest of herself to him because “she knows that it will turn out all right, her heart tells her so” – a troubled confused heart is deceitful and confusing.

She doesn’t want to wait for marriage “because the time isn’t right” and he said that he isn’t ready yet, but she trusts him. Being emotionally confused before she met the man does not help the situation at all. And even if the man is honest or not, the relationship will fail in time because she is going to carry into the relationship big issues, lots of problems, and many mixed up emotional feelings from her past. And the new man will not know how to cope with her strange behaviour’s.

To add to that he will possibly have issues of his own past, and they will come into this new relationship and she will not be able to comfort him or even understand his problems, she has more than enough problems in her own life so she cannot deal with his as well.

She cannot even deal with her own problems, so she cannot deal with his problems. If they had children it would be worse because she cannot cope with her own emotional issues, and life in general by herself, so she will not be able to cope as a successful wife or mother. And when all fails she will blame herself, hating herself because in her eyes she is hopeless and useless (other women can cope but she can’t etc) – she couldn’t be further from the truth. She can be cured, because her issues are spiritual and of the heart and soul. There is hope in God, she needs faith and the courage to follow God and come to grips with her reality and then change it. She needs to stop following the lost.

A person can be like the woman and go from relationship to relationship feeling that she is unloved and wondering why all men are losers and won’t love her as she feels that they should. She will have abortions, take all sorts of chemical medications and lots of unhappy times. She will wonder what life is all about and even possibly in deep frustration try to take her own life – what is there to live for when everything always goes wrong and there seems to be no hope. She is putting her hopes on society and relationships with men (and maybe even relationships with women), hoping that one day that they would save her, and they can’t. That is so frustrating for people in this situation, it always looks like there is no way out.

The truth is that she needs God involved, and she needs the right man. God will lead the way, He will give her what she needs to be cured, and this will stop the cycle of non-stop relationships, tears, and misery. We humans are creatures of habit so they say, and once we get into habits, bad or good, we become stuck in that cycle and often it can be a big effort to get out of it. For this lady it is time for all things to become new, and for her to get on that narrow path with Christ and change her life forever, then hope becomes a reality and a secure future.

There is always a way out. That is why we are to Hope in God. God will show us the way to a cure and emotional balance, love and freedom.

All the best from James M Sandbrook.


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