For as many reasons a relationship begins, there are just as many reasons they end. People come and go in our lives every day. However, no one goes into a marriage thinking that it will end 9 months, 9 years or 25 years down the road. People change, things develop and if both are not able to cope with change or an issue that develops, more than likely there will be a separation and or divorce.
I don’t believe it makes one person bad and the other good, no matter who left or who was left. If there is one thing I have noticed when any separation that has turned into a all out fight to the finish, it is because some one is not owning up to the fact and the roll they played in the relationship.
Yes, there are those who take it to extremes when it comes to dividing up the goods accumulated during the union or the extreme mental abuse at times when one was truly insulted or hurt by their spouse. For as much positive and heart we put into the relationship in the beginning, why do we drag it through the mud at the end of it?
We did love that person to a degree at one point in time, no matter the level and it deserves respect because when we sabotage it at every turn during a separation or divorce, we are not giving ourselves as a person the respect we deserve also.
And no one can tell me that if a person leaves any relationship with a huge chip on their shoulder that they will be able to enjoy a new love like they would if that chip was not there. We end up bringing all that baggage into a new one and that is so unfair to the next person, but also unfair to ourselves because we just may be robbing ourselves of a new mate that may have been our Prince Charming or Angel.
I went to counselling before my separation and continued with it afterwards also. You don’t commit to something for a length of time and leave it without some issues.
And as for the people around us, those that respected you both as a couple should also respect you as individuals.
No matter if you are the one that left or the one who was left, find a support system, whether it be family, friends or strangers in group therapy. It’s okay to admit we hurt, everybody hurts.
The worse life is one lived in such a pitiful way where a person feels they do so much more than others & act like others just sit there & feed off all their good deeds. It sure is the road of loneliness if nothing else. The sooner we realize the world owes us nothing, the quicker we pass go and reap the rewards life has to offer.
.. Sometimes it hurts to stay….