The Self The Ego And The Narcissist

selfish

I am not sure what the stats are on how many people have come into contact with another person, whether that be a friend or sibling, male or female, in which the relationship can not rise above any issue because one of the two is seemingly, conceited, boastful or pretentious. He/she needs to monopolize any conversation, tend to belittle or look down people they perceive as inferior and always feel like they are entitled. If and when they don’t get that special treatment, they will become impatient and angry. And they insist on having the best of everything, such as material things ,cars, even social circles.

I am no professional with regards to this personality disorder, just some one who has seen it in another and then researched what it exactly is and how to cope with it.

One thing for sure about a narcissist, they have trouble handling is any kind of criticism, feeling a sense of shame and humiliation and in order to make themselves feel better they will act out in rage and contempt. They want you to agree with them all the time and if you dare say anything they don’t like, you’re treated like a pariah, like you done something so terribly wrong, they’ll even snub you for months, having blown every incident out of proportion.

You can go through an emotional time in your life, such as a separation or health issues and they won’t call to ask, how you are, IF they do call, it ends up being a chat about them and what they think you should do with regards or how they feel worse than you can at that moment.

It is sad because they will not seek help for their attitude, nor do they believe there is anything wrong, they believe everyone else has the problem and heaven forbid if you as a friend or sibling do anything to tarnish what they see as their self image, that their behaviours become public knowledge, they will be extremely vindictive towards you.

They will get you to believe bad things about yourself and become verbally aggressive.. Their mood swings will be triggered by the littlest things, they find any excuse to start a fight, seemingly arguments and dramas are cathartic for them. They will believe the lies they say and actually don’t see how manipulative and destructive they are, along with that self righteous attitude.

After many years of viewing and being around a person like this whether a friend or sibling, one realizes you need to find coping mechanisms, ways to protect yourself from that type of person, especially if you know there will be the odd time you have no choice but to be in their presence over the years.

Realize it is not sibling rivalry or what happens between best friends, especially if you are both in adult ages, it is a form of abuse and know they have an issue, which does have a name, it is called , narcissistic personality disorder.

Until they seek out help for it, they will continue to loose friends and family and live in their own world of pain and sadness. They have to want to be happy, to feel love and be loved.

It is a long hard road, but not yours to travel, nothing saying that we the friend or family of such a person won’t be at the end of that road if they chose to change their ways. Hopefully they will learn what the term unconditional love is, especially for the ‘self’.

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