Closure And Control


Dealing with endings is the only control we have and coming to terms with the ending will give us closure. The night will end when the sun rises and the days will end when the sun goes down, we have no control over that. The death of anything, whether it be a life or a relationship as we know it or have known it to be is also something we have no control over, especially if we are the 3rd party, meaning the only two who have control over the ending is the two who make up the relationship.

Yes, some see it as re-living any pain of any loss or separation, the greatest parting I ever experienced for myself, was, my mother, when she passed over, I felt a bitter sweet bag of emotions. Thinking about it and how it would affect my own emotional well being was a good thing because it gave me time to relive many great times spent with my mother, what her and my relationship was about and like, an appreciation for her as a mother and most importantly, that she was proud of me as a daughter and letting me know that in her final months here on earth. That is the only part of her passing that I had control over. The initial shock of her passing had subsided before too long and my strong beliefs of what God has in store for all of us from the day we are born, till the day we return home come to life.

For these reasons, grief is a necessary, but not enough, it’s a condition of a successful understanding of our losses. It is the beginning, but not the entire course, of a passing on. I give myself the time to focus on the reality of the loss and without that time, the rest of mourning cannot take place, another part being the burial of any ashes.

I don’t think everyone sees this the way I do or maybe no one does, but being a person who, ‘thinks and wonders’ a lot, it has given me time to put all in perspective, with regards to life being short, how my days will now be without a loved ones physical being, in this world, all a process of learning to live healthy in a world, now new, without them. Yet when it is the ending of a relationship, we still can see and hear that person and for that fact, we need to be thankful.

Again, we all have our own depth with regards to endings and death, with or without religion being a factor and do what we need to, to get thru these times.

It is good to deal with endings, small ones and big ones as they come along. Then once we do, we then can concentrate on the next goal, which is to reinvest, the emotional energies that were between ourselves and the other person, one of the purest kinds of energy, love, unconditional, with other people in our lives, who feel the same for us and our life pursuits. We only have control over our own feelings, not anyone else’s and we can not make decisions for anyone else either. Take care of yourself and let the rest of the world take care of itself.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.


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