For as many reasons a relationship begins, there are just as many reasons they end. People come and go in our lives every day. However, no one goes into a marriage thinking that it will end 9 months, 9 years or 25 years down the road. People change, things develop and if both are not able to cope with change or an issue that develops, more than likely there will be a separation and or divorce.
I don’t believe it makes one person bad and the other good, no matter who left or who was left. If there is one thing I have noticed when any separation that has turned into a all out fight to the finish, it is because some one is not owning up to the fact and the roll they played in the relationship.
Yes, there are those who take it to extremes when it comes to dividing up the goods accumulated during the union or the extreme mental abuse at times when one was truly insulted or hurt by their spouse.
We did love that person to a degree at one point in time, no matter the level and it deserves respect because when we sabotage it at every turn during a separation or divorce, we are not giving ourselves as a person the respect we deserve also.
And no one can tell me that if a person leaves any relationship with a huge chip on their shoulder that they will be able to enjoy a new love like they would if that chip was not there. We end up bringing all that baggage into a new one and that is so unfair to the next person, but also unfair to ourselves because we just may be robbing ourselves of a new mate that may have been our Prince Charming or Angel.
I went to counselling before my separation and continued with it afterwards also. You don’t commit to something for a length of time and leave it without some issues.
And as for the people around us, those that respected you both as a couple should also respect you as individuals.
No matter if you are the one that left or the one who was left, find a support system, whether it be family, friends or strangers in group therapy. It’s okay to admit we hurt, everybody hurts.
Just remember it is okay to reach out, that is why we have hands..